Thomas Jefferson gives your July 4th holiday weekend safety briefing

When in the course of the division training schedule it becomes necessary to release the soldiery, sailory, and, er, Marinery on a 4-day weekend for this momentous July 4 holiday, marking the 243rd year of independence of these United States, it also becomes necessary for His Excellency, the Commander-in-Chief, to exhort you to practice the utmost safet…