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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Saturday, 26 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

26 September 2026

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· Page 2

Tom cruise confirms he'll play pilot of cargo plane hauling rubber dog shit out of hong Kong in 'Top Gun 2'

Filed · 1535

MALIBU, Calif. — Actor Tom Cruise has confirmed that "Top Gun 2" is happening, and he'll be taking on the role of a cargo plane pilot who hauls rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong, sources confirmed today.

Cruise, who owes his superstardom to his portrayal of hot shot Navy fighter pilot "Maverick" as he trains at the elite "Top Gun" pilot school, says he's excited to start filming an update to the 1986 blockbuster. Although moviegoers enjoyed the dogfighting scenes and homoerotic beach volleyball matches of the original film, Cruise says his role will be quite different in "Top Gun 2," which is filming under the codename "Gold Base."

"The film is going to be great, absolutely fantastic," Cruise told reporters. "I can't really give away too many details, but I can tell you that I'm coming back as Maverick and Val [Kilmer] will be back as Iceman."

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