WASHINGTON — Prominent barracks lawyer Pfc. Ruben Hernandez is advising President Trump to issue himself a pardon for inciting a deadly riot inside the nation’s Capitol this week that should also shield him from criticism for an inevitable retweet in support of “QAnon shaman,” sources confirmed today.
Hernandez, an Army infantryman stationed at Fort McNair and frequent legal advisor to the president and anyone standing within 10 feet of him, told reporters his client was in good spirits and believes he will be totally and completely exonerated, especially if he pardons himself.
“A pardon is basically, like, it’s not guilty, you know what I mean bro? I mean Mr. President,” Hernandez told Trump during a 74-minute tweet exchange, during the height of the melee on Capitol, in which hundreds of Trump supporters took over the Senate and House floor.
“U sure?” Trump tweeted back. “Mos Def Mr. P,” replied Hernandez, “I KNOW how this wurks,” he wrote, adding a winking emoji and praying hands.
