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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Saturday, 26 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

26 September 2026

2116 Zulu

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· Page 2

Thousands of officers with bronze stars terrified after Trump rescinds four bullshit awards

Filed · 1552

WASHINGTON — Officers across the military who have been awarded Bronze Stars say they are terrified for the future after learning that President Donald Trump had on Wednesday rescinded four bullshit awards handed out to Navy prosecutors who lost the murder trial of SEAL Chief Eddie Gallagher.

“If POTUS figured out these guys don’t deserve a [Navy Achievement Medal], can you just imagine if he found out about how I got a Bronze Star for processing soldiers’ leave requests in theater?” said one officer, who spoke only on condition of anonymity. “Oh Christ, I can’t believe they even gave me a Combat ‘V’ for this for going on one patrol.”

Trump tweeted on Wednesday that he had ordered Navy Secretary Richard Spencer to claw back awards given to the prosecutors in the Gallagher trial, which critics say sets a dangerous precedent that military awards may require officers to earn them.

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