Trump deploys National Guard on US-Mexico border to masturbate, eat MREs
US-MEXICO BORDER, Ariz. — President Donald Trump has declared a state of emergency on the U.S. border with Mexico and is deploying thousands of National Guard troops there to masturbate, eat MREs, and play with personal knives, sources confirmed today.
The soldiers will also be tasked with playing card games and generating PowerPoint briefing slides for …
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Duffel Blog to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.