Tucker Carlson says he's not thrilled about male military uniforms either

"All of today’s war gear should appear more menacing to strike fear into Chinese hearts.”

By Bull Winkle

NEW YORK — Fox News personality Tucker Carlson is striking back at critics by making clear that he despises both male and female U.S. military uniforms, sources confirmed today.

“People got my message wrong,” Carlson said during a segment on Thursday. “I’m not only against these weakness-inspiring uniforms for women. All of today’s war gear should appear more menacing to strike fear into Chinese hearts.”

Carlson recently accused President Joe Biden of making the U.S. military “more feminine” after women’s hairstyles, uniforms, and grooming standards were changed while President Donald Trump was in office. The TV personality bristled at the backlash that has come his way from the Secretary of Defense, general officers, and other residents of the 21st century.

“I know plenty about wearing uniforms from years at boarding schools, even that Swiss one I got kicked out of,” Carlson said, also mentioning his service record of playing ‘Call of Duty’ nearly every weekend and having watched ‘American Sniper’ start to finish “about five times.”

Yet the Army, Air Force, and Marine utility uniforms “look like my pajamas,” Carlson said, adding that they may as well come with “camouflage bunny slippers, not that I wear them, of course.”


During the segment, Carlson suggested better uniforms could be found among a mix of items from soldiers, sailors, Native American warriors, motorcycle bikers in leather, construction workers, and cowboys. “Chaps are really threatening,” he said.

“In Afghanistan as an Army Ranger, my uniform was uncomfortable because it could barely contain my utter bad-assedness,” Sen. Tom Cotton (R-Ark.) agreed in response. “Did I mention that I was an Army Ranger?”

Cotton added that he “had no Earthly idea” if women experienced difficulty accomplishing their missions while wearing uniforms and body armor designed for men.

The senator said that women usually served as medics, aviators, combat engineers, armor crews, maintainers, intelligence analysts, interpreters, infantry, civil affairs, military police, unit commanders, and other “cushy jobs.” He added, “They’re comfortable enough, for girls.”

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