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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 114 · Wednesday, 23 September 2026

Army

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Staff says senator’s three-month absence was “routine National Guard obligation”

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

Army adopts ‘Your body, my choice’ as new recruiting slogan

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Vol. 15 · No. 114

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 114 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

23 September 2026

2203 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
· Page 2

U.S. Intelligence community successfully predicts Super Bowl

Filed · 1545

LANGLEY, VA – Members of the U.S. intelligence community held a press conference today to report that one of their analysts not only successfully predicted the results of Sunday's Super Bowl XLVII, but accurately made his prediction more than five years ago!

Even more amazing, the analyst has never watched a football game and knew absolutely nothing about football prior to his being assigned to the American-Rules Football Desk at the Central Intelligence Agency.

"Well, when we first hired Analyst "Jay" [not his real name] in 2007 he told us that he really wanted to work the Baseball Desk, since he'd been playing baseball ever since he was a kid and totally loved the sport," said an anonymous highly-placed CIA official.

"Unfortunately our Baseball Desk was already full and we only had authorization to staff the Football Desk."

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