U.S. Military Divorcing Afghanistan For Hotter, Sexier War

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN – The United States Military and Afghanistan will be getting a divorce after eleven years of war so the U.S. can pursue a hotter, sexier war, senior government officials have told Duffel Blog. The pending divorce is mutual.

The U.S. Military has already released a statement saying, "While we appreciate all the love and support Afghanis…