WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Pentagon has denied initial reports out of southern Afghanistan that Marines have tortured prisoners after an embedded journalist reported the playing of Justin Bieber songs to "extract intelligence."

"I can still hear him screaming," said Brennan, recalling the captured fighter's terror. "He was begging to be water-boarded but the Marines just turned up the volume."

"We absolutely do not torture," said Pentagon spokesman Michael Lee. "Music can help to 'motivate' prisoners, whether it be the Sesame Street theme, Katy Perry, or Nickelback. If I have to listen to that crap on the radio, so can they."

Human rights activists from Amnesty International were quick to condemn the Marines' actions as "coercion and torture" on a scale similar to that of Abu Ghraib.