PYEONGCHANG, South Korea — Just days after the Winter Olympics kicked off, the United States has unexpectedly replaced its entire Skating Team with Marine lance corporals, sources confirmed today.

It's just the latest move by Washington to show support and appreciation for U.S. troops, officials say. Although many questioned the abilities of the all-Marine team, their superiors and peers alike all described their skating abilities as "prolific."

"He's brilliant, an absolute master of his craft," Lance Cpl. Mark Maker told reporters of his roommate, Lance Cpl. Michael "Chazz" Michaels. "Michaels spends nearly every waking moment at work skating. Recently he's been skating so hard that he's been permanently removed from the duty roster. I wasn't surprised at all when he was deemed one of the best skaters in the world."

Since then, according to sources, Michaels has has been preparing at the Olympic Village, fine-tuning his routine at the medical center by complaining of carpel tunnel syndr…