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VA Secretary calls department’s suicide hotline after latest scandal

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VA Secretary calls department’s suicide hotline after latest scandal

Duffel Blog
Sep 17, 2019
Share this post

VA Secretary calls department’s suicide hotline after latest scandal

www.duffelblog.com

WASHINGTON – Veterans Affairs Secretary Robert Wilkie called his own department’s suicide hotline last night after yet another in a long line of scandals rocked the Department of Veterans Affairs last week, sources confirm.

Wilkie’s administration was already reeling from reports of 11 suspicious deaths at one facility, an alcoholic doctor who misdiagnosed more than 3,000 cases, and Captain America killing himself in a VA parking lot, when the latest scandal made headlines.

“Sounds about fucking right, a doctor sexually assaulting his patients,” Wilkie said as he took a swig of whiskey and changed a sign in his office to reflect zero days since the last scandal. “I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since I took this job. Now I’m just one neo-Nazi physician assistant or spice-smoking nurse practitioner away from suck starting a pistol.”

Wilkie, a Navy Reserve veteran, current Air Force Reserve Colonel, and longtime Civil War buff, has been a cabinet member in the Trump administration for…

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