Value of jalapeño cheese spread artificially inflated by extended training exercise

“I’m practically a millionaire!” said Cpl. Brian Stokes.

By Cat Astronaut

CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — The value of jalapeño cheese spread packets in Meals Ready-to-Eat (MREs) has skyrocketed in recent days as a Marine Corps unit entered its fourth week of an extended field exercise, sources say.

“Everybody knew coming into this that blue-chip commodities like Grizzly wintergreen and Skittles would go up,” said Sgt. Je…