PHILADELPHIA, Pa. — Admitting that he is inconsolably irritated and just doesn’t understand why, numerous sources confirmed that local Applebee’s waiter Samuel Higgins has not yet once been thanked for his customer service early Sunday.

Higgins, 23, a Philadelphia native and Air Force veteran, is reportedly drowning in a flood of ingratitude and Spinach & Artichoke Dip as he haplessly struggles to upright his self-respect along with two teetering serving trays in either hand.

“You know, I just wish people knew what we in the service industry go through every day,” says Higgins. “It’s not easy to take orders and execute them under stress in a timely and reliable manner, day in and day out.

“Not everyone is cut out for this line of work,” he adds over the resounding smash of china, as table four’s “2 for $20” lunch leaves his hand and crashes to the floor.

Regular patrons report that the perpetually surly Higgins is more cantankerous than usual, no doubt a result of everyone’s inexplicable …