KABUL — Comic giant Marvel has found itself embroiled in a messy copyright battle with the War in Afghanistan after calling its latest Avengers movie "Infinity War," Duffel Blog has learned.
"We take great umbrage at the lack of consideration on the part of Marvel," the War said in a statement. "Everyone knows that there is only one war that is going to go on forever, and we are it."
As the War in Afghanistan reached its 16th birthday and extended its lead as the longest war in U.S. history, it has become very particular about the way it is treated in public discourse.
This year, after obtaining its drivers' license, the war made several remarks about how the first Anglo-Afghanistan war "couldn't protect it forever" and "didn't understand [it] at all." Now it seems that the War in Afghanistan is trying to make sure it has carved out a place in history as a long, bloody, endless conflict.
The primary concern with Marvel's title, according to the war in Afghanistan, is brand confusion.
"We have enough trouble getting people to remember things like where Afghanistan is on a map, if the Taliban does or does not exist anymore and if killing any of them will help, or if the rug came from the country or vice versa. We don't need people thinking that there's some guy named Thanos who looks like a California Raisin hanging out in our country and trying to smash mountains," it said.
According to the United States Patent and Trademark Office, there are currently several applications in process for the War in Afghanistan, all filed by different entities within the United States government as well as Afghan natives. The titles potentially under trademark range from "Infinity War" to "Allah of Duty: Infinite Warfare" and "This The War That Doesn't End, It Will Go On And On My Friend."