PHILADELPHIA – Shortly after suffering their 14th straight loss to Navy, Black Knights head coach Jeff Monken was expressly vocal on who he felt dropped the ball.

“Women don’t belong in combat, damn it!” Monken fumed. “It’s a goddamn battlefield in those trenches. This is all [Ash] Carter’s fault.”

Indeed, since opening all combat roles – including special operations and service academy athletics – to women just last week, the Black Knights have been overwhelmed with enthusiastic female athletes seeking to prove they are just as capable as males of playing high school football at a collegiate level.