LEESVILLE, WV – Officials are scrambling for answers after a West Virginia National Guard captain was revealed to be in an inappropriate relationship with his wife, who sources confirmed was not a blood relative.

Thousands of sickened citizens have taken to the streets in protest to express their disgust at the revelation that Capt. John Olsen has been in a sexual relationship with a woman who, in fact, is not even a distant cousin or even a step-sister.

Olsen, a battalion staff officer who moved to the state last year after his release from active duty, reportedly brought along his wife of five years, Stacy Olsen, whom he married soon after his graduation from the United States Military Academy. The discovery that his wife was not his sister and in fact, bears no discernible family relation to him at all has sent shockwaves throughout the state.

“We demand the immediate removal of this here Olsen from his position,” said Obadiah McCoy, who heads the Occupy Your Cousin movement, brandish…