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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 114 · Thursday, 24 September 2026

Army

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Staff says senator’s three-month absence was “routine National Guard obligation”

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

Army adopts ‘Your body, my choice’ as new recruiting slogan

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Vol. 15 · No. 114

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 114 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

24 September 2026

0320 Zulu

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← Front page
Coast Guard · Page 7

Whale gives Coast Guard cutter 'the fin' after being cut off

Filed · 1531

BERING SEA — A disgruntled humpback whale returning from his migration journey has reportedly flipped the Coast Guard Cutter Munro ‘the fin’ in response to a near miss with the large sea mammal, sources confirm today.

“Learn how to sail you fuckin’ psychos,” said the 40-year old sea mammal, acknowledging that he has not seen such amateur navigation since he was a calf.

“There I was just minding my own business when suddenly WHAM here comes this white-ass mother fucker out of nowhere." exclaimed the humpback. "They act like they own the ocean! Assholes.”

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