Wikileaks Releases Shocking mIRC Transcripts From Afghanistan

LONDON, U.K. – The website Wikileaks today released more than 35,000 pages of mIRC transcripts from the United States and other NATO forces in Operation Enduring Freedom.

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange praised the release as the most damning indictment of the United States ever leaked to the press.

"This latest release, more than all the others, exposes the lies and hypocrisies of the United States," Assange told reporters. "And it's all thanks to Bradley Man-- I mean, my network of secret informants."

mIRC is an Internet Relay Chat (IRC) client, created in 1995, and operated by the US military as its primary online communications program.

The transcripts were taken from various Combat Operations Centers (COC) at the battalion, regimental, and division level.

Some of the logs reveal serious maturity issues with senior military figures. For example, this particular exchange was taken during Operation Khanjar and is between the COC from the 1st Battalion 5th Marines and their headquarters at Camp Dwyer:

_1_5_S3_WO: Yeah, I'm looking for First Sergeant Hunt. I think his first name is Mike. _3rd_Reg_SWO: Hang on, I'll check. No one here has seen Mike Hunt. _1_5_S3_WO: How about Gunnery Sergeant Jass? I think his first name is Hugh. Or Private Meehoph, first name Jack.

Other mIRC logs reveal a strange detachment between combat operations centers and units in contact with the enemy.

_2_7_Fox_WO: Stand by for TIC [Troops in Contact] report. Fox 2-3 is reporting taking heavy small arms fire. _2_7_SWO: Is that you Green? Man I am so fucking bored right now. _2_7_Fox_WO: WTF? We have a TIC! Get the AirO and Fires spun up. _2_7_SWO: Can you guys wait until the PX Truck leaves?

_3_5_WO: Break break break. Stand by MEDEVAC. _RCT7_SWO: Rgr _3_5_WO: Line 1: 50S MC 08724 78122 _RCT7_SWO: WTF? Where is that even at? Who is this? _3_5_WO: This is E2W. We're doing Mojave Viper and my SSgt told me to run some drills so I wanted to see if this was the right format.

Some mIRC logs reveal units that had little grasp of proper protocol.

CLB_3_S3: Miss, B5 CLB_3_S1: Miss, E6 CLB_3_S3: Miss, A3 CLB_3_S1: Miss, E2 CLB_3_S3: Hit. Damn, you sank my battleship. II_MEB_SWO: You know we're reading everything you two dickheads are typing, right?

As casualties mounted during the Surge, discipline among some units slowly started to crack.

Apache X-RAy: T-Hawk X-Ray, we're observing 3 IED emplacers ATT, moving to strike. T-Hawk X-RAy: Send up the SALTA Apache: NM, fuckers just blew themselves up. T-Hawk: Cool. How's the chow today?

_VMU1_: Good morning devil dog. I'll be your controller today? _1_3_S2: Are you a female? _VMU1_: Uh, yes. _1_3_S2: I would totally fuck you six ways from sundown right now, first I would start licking y-- _VMU1_: WTF? Are you fucking serious? _1_3_S2: Sorry, things have been so tense over here. I just wish people would stop dying so we can get off RiverCity and I can get back to playing MafiaWars on Facebook.

The problem is not just limited to the United States. Wikileaks also released several transcripts from the Combined Enterprise Regional Information Exchange (CENTRIX), the secret network used by all NATO countries in Afghanistan, showing how language difficulties were also hampering coalition operations.

Here's an exchange between a US officer and his Australian counterpart:

LKG_LNO: "Hey, can you guys spare any infantry units for our upcoming operations?" JTF_633: "How many diggers do you need?" LKG_LNO: "WTF? You can't say shit like that. This is an official network." JTF_633: "What? That's what we call our infantry: diggers." LKG_LNO: "Oh, sorry. But yeah, can you spare any?" JTF_633: "OK, but make sure you bring plenty of fried chicken and watermelon, cause our diggers really love that."

U.S. officials have refused to comment on the reports. Wikileaks is already planning an additional release for tomorrow, which Assange promises will focus exclusively on the popular Blue Force Tracker acronym STFU, which Assange says does not actually stand for "Sir, Thanks For the Update".