WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a highly-anticipated press conference held in the nation's capitol today, a leading women's activist announced that she would be taking up the cause of having more female service-members killed in combat.
Rep. Judy Chu (D-Calif.) announced the creation of Femme Fatal, a movement specifically tasked with ensuring that women get the same opportunities to be shot, killed, wounded, and suffer debilitating emotional stress as men throughout the military.
She appeared with Private Ellen Brown, an active-duty female soldier serving with the 10th Mountain Division in southern Afghanistan.
Brown, a supply clerk, is currently a member of a Female Engagement Team whose duties include speaking with local women on patrol and searching female civilians. She appeared via Skype from her base's Morale Welfare and Recreation center.
"Women make up 14.6 percent of the active duty military, but just 2.3 percent of the casualties," complained Chu.
"Did you know that in the past decade, our military has only had 140 women killed in combat?" asked Chu. "Compare that to more than six thousand men killed, and it paints a disturbing picture of a military reluctant to let women near the front lines. Obviously we have to find a way to narrow the casualty gap."
The idea of women serving behind the front lines has largely disappeared in Iraq and Afghanistan as more and more women have experienced combat at some level.
But Femme Fatal says a "camouflage ceiling" still exists, blocking women from serving in Special Forces, Infantry, Armor, and Field Artillery; a ceiling that Chu believes can only be shattered by, "blood... lots of blood."
Some detractors have said females cannot handle the stresses of infantry life, while proponents have noted examples of women who have excelled in a male-dominated military.
During the conference, James Durst, a reporter for the Los Angeles Times, asked Chu about how the physical differences between the sexes would affect the standards and methods used in training to produce America's most elite warriors.
"If a man can do it, a woman can do it!" Chu responded.
"Private Brown is just as capable of having her arms and legs blown off by IEDs, her face ripped away by hot shrapnel, her throat torn open by a sniper's bullet..."
At this point Private Brown doubled-over vomiting and was heard saying, "Fuck this shit, I'm just here for the college money."
"... before she's unceremoniously kicked out of the Army because there are too many trigger-pullers and spends the rest of her life shitting in a colostomy bag, begging the VA for her disability money," Chu finished.
Some people remain unconvinced.
"It's called infantry-MAN, not infantry-LADY, and that's a scientific fact," said Ron Meyer, a former infantryman who served in Korea and Vietnam, and avid Duffel Blog commenter.
"I don't care what the studies or the polling show. Some things just need to stay the way they are."
Others, including some women in uniform, were upset over Chu's eagerness for a higher female body count.
"Who the hell are these women and why are they so eager to get me killed?" demanded Sergeant Jacquie Williams, a female combat veteran of Iraq. "Do any of them plan on going anytime soon? I've been in combat. I've done the job. But groups like this don't know their ass from a hole in the ground."
Faced with that criticism, Chu also announced that as soon as the ban on women in combat units was lifted, she intended to immediately resign her congressional seat and enlist in the Army as an infantry-person.
"Why should Private Brown get to have all the fun?" Chu laughed.
"Besides, I've always wanted to see what the inside of a human head looks like after I've smashed it open with my E-tool."
Duffel Blog investigative correspondent ArmyJ also contributed to this report.