Drunk Soldier Supports Women Registering For The Shaft

FORT BRAGG, NC — After downing a fifth of Old Crow bourbon while cleaning the barracks, Pfc. Glenn Williams of 2nd Battalion, 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment announced his full support of women registering for the shaft.

"I ain't no liberal-commie-hippie but I tell you whut, it's the future now, and I fully support women registering. For the shaft," sh…