General’s Controversial Graduation Speech Sparks Riots, 11 Killed

General Robert Brown addresses graduating soldiers

SAND HILL, FT. BENNING, GA – Many soldiers and family members are angry over reports of controversial remarks from the Commanding Officer of Fort Benning at a recruit graduation.

Speaking to an assembled crowd of new soldiers and their families at basic training graduation, Maj. Gen. Robert Brown was reported as “extremely hostile.”

His speech began with the “standard fluff” about duty, country, and the privileges of serving when such a small percentage of the country chooses a career in the Armed Forces. The speech took a turn, however, when the General reached a point in his remarks, obviously reused from previous ceremonies.

“Look to your left and right towards your brothers in arms,” said  Brown. “You’re all now members of a proud warrior class, and heroes like your fathers before you who-”

The General stopped, took a deep breath and crumpled the sheet before flinging it to the ground.

“Fuck it! I can’t read shit like this anymore. Listen up you little bald bastards.”

The newly minted soldiers — trying to stay awake throughout the ceremony — shifted uncomfortably in their seats at the sudden change in tone.

“Some of you fucks won’t make it past AIT [Advanced Individual Training]. You’ll wash out with the rest of the weakness that never should have been here in the first place. Most of you who do graduate will immediately go to combat units and deploy overseas. Many of you will threaten to kill yourselves to get out of real work, although you wont have the balls to actually do it!”

Brown’s tone got softer as he attempted to clarify.

“Don’t get me wrong here. Many of you will actually go fight and engage the enemy in close combat. For that I salute you. It takes a hard motherfucker to go kill people you’ve never met just because we say so.”

The General then resumes his “motivational speech” to what he referred to as “the rest of you shit-stains.”

“You’ll most likely spend your deployment sitting on a FOB, manning guard towers, or waiting to go on patrols that get cancelled. I have a reality check for you all. Not everyone in this room is a hero. I don’t give a shit what the beer commercials say. You drag your buddy out of a grape hut after you’ve stabbed two Taliban in the eyes with a broken MRE spoon then you’re a motherfucking American Hero. You clear a trench with nothing but a sack of hand-grenades and your giant brass balls, then you’re a motherfucking hero! But walking through the desert for three months without hearing a shot fired in anger and posting pictures in your combat gear doesn’t make you a goddamned hero!  I don’t care what your family says. They’re not heroes. Neither are your fucking wives. Hardest job in the Army, my ass! Damn it, I’m too old for this shit. Fuck you all.”

Gen. Brown then threw up his middle finger to the crowd and stormed off the stage, hustling into his waiting staff car.

The silence after his speech was soon broken by wild applause from the assembled Drill Sergeants and Officers responsible for training the young soldiers over the previous ten weeks.

Less enthusiasm was displayed by the families and the new graduates, who stormed the stage and attempted to destroy the auditorium to express their displeasure. The ensuing riot caused over a half-million dollars in damage, and Drill Sergeants were forced to kill 11 Privates in self-defense.

An Army spokesman has said that General Brown will not be scheduled as the keynote speaker for next week’s graduation ceremony.


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212 Comments

  1. look at all of you arguing about the army, thinking shits hard. Good think you never tried to be marines cause y’all never would have made it through the first night. And no i’m not screaming at you so no need to pull out a stress card pussies

    • stress cards a myth and more then 90% pass boot camp so yes i can get though it just fine considering the fact i am in better shape then most of them and have a good mentally so don’t make it seem like your sf guy or something.

  2. I did my 3 and out in the early 80s because there weren’t any generals like what’s parodied here. Had there been, I would have made my career in the military.

  3. I went through Marine basic at P.I. in ’74. I saw shit happen that probably shouldn’t have. I myself had my right thumb bitten by a D.I. after I was caught nibbling on a hangnail, so hard, in fact, that I actually lost the thumbnail about 4 weeks later. Those D.I.’S had a job to do, and they did it well. I’m still in the service, in the ARNG, in the northeast. I work, daily, on a military base as a federal technician, wearing the uniform every day. Some of the “recruits” I see on a regular basis would be scared to stand in the shadow of even the recruits of my day, much less be in the same county as the D.I.’s. It’s incredible what we have become. Some of these people can’t function without a cellphone or a laptop. They can’t spell, can’t read and their penmanship and communication skills are horrendous. We really do need to put the “basic” back in basic training, literally starting with the basics.

  4. Having joined in 1964, the DI’s I had would smack hell out of you if you endangered anybody. Some of the other company’s DI’s were sadist, but I was lucky. I had good ones.

    As to the speech, I thought it should have been real instead of satire. Good satire is sometimes indistinguishable from reality.

  5. For all you idiots that think this is a real story, does not your browser go all the way to the top of the page ? READ !!
    All MOSs are necessary, you like to eat? get paid?? ride?, have your files kept up to date? abet they all need to be performed correctly
    Basic & AIT(Advanced Infantry) at Ft Dix, Abn at Ft.benning, assigned to 11th Air Assault –1963, 1965 -1969 Vietnam 1st Air Cav, 69-79 82nd Abn
    Don’t tell me about hard, no DIs in those days, just PLT SGTs, mine was 5’5″, had 5 combat stars on his jump wings, if you had a deathwish, just dis him. In those days, if you disagreed with an NCO, you were welcome to go behind the barracks and settle the matter with nothing further said about it. IMHO, the military needs to go back to those days, I liked it then, I was a bit of a rouge but I found my niche, I’m not sure that me and the military today would get along, My ROE was ‘I win, by what ever means’ Don’t bring PC yo a gunfight.

  6. hes was being honest people just dont want to hear the truth because their weak

  7. “You drag your buddy out of a grape hut after you’ve stabbed two Taliban in the eyes with a broken MRE spoon then you’re a motherfucking American Hero.”

    Holy shit I just lost it at the broken MRE spoon.

  8. if a enlisted said that crap he would be out tmrw but bc hes an officer theyll probably just send him to the pentagon where no one will see him. thats the real crime o btw all of you who support the general lets not forget that 11 people were killed whetther they were soldiers or not they are still human beings in my opinion he should get slapped with starting a riot, actions unbecoming of an officern and the highest level of attempted manslughter or whatever. can you imagine coming to your sons graduation for basic and taking him home in a body bag o btw his drill is the one that killed him. and im sorry but you can break someones legs if you really need to stop them but killing them i dont see that being justified

    • the only reason the riot got started was there lack of discipline they never should have stormed the stage because the general was honest id give my left nut if i met a officer in the marines that was that damn honest thats what we need not the political ass kissing that tthe public is fed

  9. no one lost their lives at all this is made up. seriously do your research… I am active duty and have been to fort benning more time then i can count also having many life long friend that serve there. This is a false report

    • Seriously!? The entire website is fake. Satire. A joke. Something to laugh at. You, Sir, are an idiot.

  10. For all of your reading this do not believe it. My home town is columbus georgia 15 min away from fort benning. This never happened, its a completely false report. Shame on who ever wrote this article.

  11. This is why Im glad to be getting out so I dont have guys like this as my boss. So glad to be a vet next week. Ive been overseas and had my share. Ive come to despise the Army, it has no respect. Its all politcal now days. And this Gen. showed how un respectful and disgusting this military has become. I will not miss the uniform or anything to do with the military.

  12. I hope each and every one of you are ashamed of you selves applauding this idiot is like saying the Colorado shooter is a freaking hero. Kids lots their lives bc some childish speech. Shame on you all! Your comments make me sick. And all military nco or officers I hope you realize your comments any one can read if u don’t like your job get yhe hell out the army.

  13. ThiS brings embarrassment to the Army. Someone who has serve for many years started his carry most likely as an officer and therefor does not know what we has enlisted have to endorse on a daily basis. This kind of behavior shows poor leadership. No general should be talking to people like this. Specially in front of family. If he feels like this then he should put in for retirement and say all that he wants on his own time. This is why most enlisted have no respect for their superiors. Specially officers. They come in with a degree or go through the academy. Learn things from a book and think they know it all. When faced with combat they are the first to fuck up and then turn around and blame the enlisted for their mistakes. Way to go!! Glad I’m a veteran and decided to get out.

  14. I Graduated fort Benning as a 11b about 5yrs ago and for one when i graduated we had to flipping stand at attention or parade rest the whole time, what the hell is this sitting down thing, but i applaude the general i just recently came back from overseas and i agree your not a fucking hero just cause you sat on a F.O.B the whole time or just because you went on a few mission and nothing even happened… the problem with today generation is that they are to fucking soft, just because you didnt get the “that a boy speech that you thought you deserved” you get mad and rush the stage…News Flash if you were one of the ones who rushed the stage than just to be honest with you than you are not ready to be a soldier anyway, there are plenty of times in my military career that i didnt like the speech that platoon sgt or platoon leader hell even my commander gave but i didnt get all mad and want to tear stuff up, no i did what my drill sgt taught me and sucked it up and moved on

  15. I loved it. It should be a speech given to all armed forces. My son is a Marine. He saw plenty of gunfire in Iraq and Afghanistan. Front line Grunt!!!! And he would never ever want to be called a Hero. When we go out or around others, he gives strick orders to not tell anyone he is a Marine. He doesn’t want the handshakes or thank you’s. He watched friends die. He watched the enemy die. He had the night mares that would be expected. But he never had the hero mentality. He joined, he has served and continues to, but he never wants recognition. A true hero doesn’t think he is one.

    • AMEN, a hero dont go out and look for trouble he just answer trouble when it present itself… i just recently came back from afghanstan and seen my brothers at arm fall and hurt in combat and to me those are the heroes the one who gave the ultimate sacrifice, everyone else and even me im no hero im just doing the job that i signed my name on a doted line for

  16. i ve been n the army 9 yrs and deployed 3 times n my career..participated n i don’t know how many change of command ceremonies, graduations and other bull shit ceremonies..but this is the BEST speech i ve ever heard in my LIFE…! it may have not been what the family members and graduates wanted to hear but it was the truth!!!! accept it for what it is..now it was a tragedy that people had to die…he should be held accountable for that…ever action has a reaction…

    • agree best speech i heard in my 5yrs in, but i dont think he should be held accountable for those soldiers lifes… we all signed our name on that dotted line and we all knew what we were getting into. and for those soldiers to have gradute basic and act the way they did, they should have known to conduct therself better than that

  17. Wow! So many people just instantly believe what they read, lol. Try reading the “About Us” section of this blog and you will see this is meant to be a commical blog and everything is made up. I thought the article was actually pretty creative and humorous. I think it is so true that the people they put in now expect everything handed to them! Parents can no longer disipline their kids without some sort of retribution so therefore they dont get spanked anymore. Kids know that parents can get in trouble now if they do any sort of physical punishment so kids do what ever they want!! They curse and show disrespect to whoever they want and dont care!! This trickles into the classrooms where schools no longer can disapline either. We may hurt their feelings or embarrass them if we do. Then this of course trickles to the real world where now we have a bunch of young adults who feel their are entitled to anything they want without the hard work it takes to get it and unfortuneately this has trickled into the basic training/boot camps of all our military branches. Our country is slowly getting dumbed down. Very Sad!!! It scares me to think that these young Soldiers are going to possibly have to defend my husband while on deployment. Will they be able to do it. Then you have the crazy little shits that think its a game. My husband was a recruiter for a while and he said he would get kids in that said they wanted to be in infantry so that they could kill people and then they would go on and on how great their video game scores were on some video game. My husband would of course sit them down and explain (which he shouldnt have to) that this is real life! There is no reset button! You may have to look someone in the face and really kill them, you may have to kill a woman or child!! Think about that!! He liked their gung ho spirit but also knew he needed to give them a dose of reality. Then he’d get the ones that were solely coming in for an education only.. They do there yrs required and get out and go to school. In a way I think that BS should stop!! Not all but most of the ones like that immediately ask for a job that will not deploy them. My husband would just laugh and say that is not possible. If you dont want to get deployed then dont join. Half the ones they put in are going in cause they have no choice and need a job. Its sad really!

    Ok so I just have one other comment…… I really hope you honestly dont feel that way about military spouses!! Obviously Im a spouse but I don’t consider myself a hero or even that it is the toughest job, but that is prob because I dont have kids so its pretty easy for me, in a way. I do think spouses do a lot to keep morale up! They take care of the kids in every way! Emotionally and physically… They encourage their Soldier and are there for them. (at least the supportive ones) They essentially have to be a single parent and that is not easy! If it wasnt for spouses Soldiers wouldnt get as many care pkgs prob. to keep morale up. Yes, most of us knew what we were agreeing to when we got married but some didnt agree with it and they still stand by their Soldier. I know us spouses are not perfect and there are some pretty bad ones out there but I see more good than I do bad and I have been a spouse for 14 yrs. Well thats all I got…. :o)

  18. A: Satire, although poorly timed satire, meaning it never happened
    B: General Brown is no longer the CG, nor if you had heard him speak would you ever believe this had come from him.
    C: CNN would have been all over this had it been real.
    D: The Sand Hill Chaplain I outprocessed with yesterday might, just might have been a little more disturbed had it been real.
    E: Settle down and take a deep breath. This site is clearly not for you.

  19. Wowwww is all I can say. What is our military becoming these days?… specifically our Army. I’m currently serving and very disappointed in the speech given and the acts committed afterwards. To all of those drill sergeants and privates initiating the riot… shame on you all… and you loose cannon, gung-ho infantry fucks wonder why some of your Nation and even your fellow servicemembers don’t support you. I tell any new recruit joining any branch of service “You are man/woman before the uniform you put on.” No, this not your average 9-5, but indeed it is still a place of employment… Act like it! That retard general must’ve forgotten that. That motherfucker wouldn’t be speaking to new recruits if the our citizens didn’t continue to pay taxes to fund and support this great Army we belong to. If our citizens consider us heroes regardless of our specialty, fine let them praise us! Their tax dollars help support majority of the bullshit we do and fuck up when we’re not fighting the enemy… and hey General, I give anyone a lot of credit just for entering into combat for the fuck-off money that we get compensated just to do it. Are you a hero General?… more than likely not because you more than likely came in during peacetime, never served in combat as a troop, and now you’re sittin’ at some desk callin’ shots, makin’ big bucks to never come up with something that your troops can benefit from… Obviously, we see that with the speech you gave… fuckin’ officers man! If that was a first sergeant(even though it still wouldn’t justify), I would feel slightly different about this situation.

  20. WOOOW, this general is my heroe!! I dont get this people, he said the reality of what is going to happen, and what is in the ARME?! Why do this people react that way?! Fuck those stupid ass privates! If they dont know the real way of doing things, then they dont belong here… anyways, he said the truth and nothing but the truth, if they cant handle it, to bad!!!

  21. LOL after I sat back and read over this article I was initially pissed. Then I saw the whole satire nonsense. My question to all of you who support this way of thinking are fucking idiots. “Nyahhhh your a pog” “Nyahhhh your not combat arms” “Nyahhhh combat is the best ever”….. Do you realize how retarded you people sound? Is it really that funny that people lost lives? Albeit it was fake but I really don’t see how you idiots could possibly see the humor in it. I do agree however about the shitbags and whatnot. And btw I am support and I’ll be damned if I wasn’t out of the wire way the fuck more than most of the supposed “combat arms retards” just saying all you cocksure idiots are pretty much just a bunch of simpletons who couldn’t muster enough brainpower than to choose a basic mos

  22. The most ghetto people in the army are all pogs. it really cracks me up. “I’m gangsta! ..I work supply!” And when they try to defend themselves on here because we all call them pussies, they look even more ghetto and retarded. haha. “MENG [email protected] YOU 11B’s! IMMA BUST A CAP IN UR AZZ BISH! …after I finish making your dinner.” lmao. ok guy, go drive your LMTV back to the motor pool and play spades with the other pogs.

    This isn’t directed to the other non-infantry COMBAT MOS’s out there, (medics included) -but to these worthless “gangsta” type pogs that seem to multiplying everyday; for [email protected] sake, know you’re role and STFU! These losers never have combat MOS’s.. they’re always either supply, mechanics, truck drivers, etc. because they wouldn’t of ever made it past the training for a combat MOS since they have zero discipline. The bigger problem is that their chain of command doesn’t do jack to correct their behavior, in fact I’ve seen them encourage it.

    A lot of those “gangsta” fuks that came in the army during the early 90s that used to be “career E-6’s” prior to OIF, are now all pog SFC’s and 1SG’s due of the spike in promotions caused by these wars, and it’s obvious not a lot has changed. These scumbags shouldn’t have ever made it past E-4, let alone E-6. the army needs to return to garrison and weed these losers out. -and not just the lower enlisted ones. It’s gotten REALLLLY bad since 2003.

    • So I guess we just get rid of them all then right?? They are so worthless, right!?! Guess you will have to figure out how to order your own stuff, fly your own helicoptors, fix your own vehicles and find your own ground transportation!! That should be pretty fun after you’ve walked so many miles, your dehydrated, tired and your back hurts and dont forget your feet are bleeding!!! They may not be on the front lines but their jobs are important to the ones who are on the front lines. I dont know about other MOS’ but do you even know the what the test scores have to be to be in aviation?? What are the scores for a grunt?? Just saying! Like I said if you think you dont need those people, Id love to see you do it all on your own!! Good luck with that!!

  23. Whatever y’all heard about infantry Osuck training at sand hill is true we did our ruck marches without a ruck we had camel backs full of soda and we had mcchickens instead of mres and they lowered the pt standards really low, we got out cross rifles at 30th and the drill sergeants were pretty nice to us they also gave us our phones and passes everyday and we could dip whenever we wanted. It was pretty relaxed

  24. I don’t know about Army basic, but if that were true that would’ve hit the world news REAL quick. Whoever thought that up is awesome.

  25. i actually enjoyed the remarks, until he start bashing the Military Families. i enloyed it because i for one is tired of our Military graduating actual “Shit Stains” from Basic and AIT. Our military is getting weaker every time one of these so-called soldiers walks across the stage to receive his or her diploma. We (all of us as leaders) need to show these soldier the right way to serve in the Military and force them to live the Military value. We have lost the value system in todays Military. Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, (here the Big One) Integrity, and Personal Courage. Bring it all back or will continue to los the fight.

    • I’m an AD spouse and Mom. I thought the remark about the wives was right on target. and the families… You just have to go to your local youth league football games to see parents like that.

  26. I Think most of you are taking this all too seriously. It’s satire, which means its going to be fake. I does raise the question though If BCT is going soft. I did BCT and AIT at Lostinthewoods, and two tours in Iraq. I was outside of the wire for most of those tours as an 88m with a Engineering unit. We had plenty of former Drills and NCOs that became fobbits but you learn to ignore them and get the job done. We saw some, not a lot but some, action. That allowed us to weed out the whiners and criers. My unit allowed them to become Fobbits so that the rest of us could do what had to do and so the fobbits could hold our spots in the chow line till we got back. You don’t have to be an infantry unit to grow hard a$$e$. I applaud the person who wrote this, I think the “General’ sounds alot like my old CSM while we were in the sandbox.

  27. Everyone in my Unit seems to think this story is real. Despite the fact that I’ve explained the Duffleblog and satire to them. I honestly do not understand how anyone at all could think that this is real. Too bad the front leaning rest doesn’t cure stupidity…

  28. Wow… I think some of you are getting too worked up over this. THIS IS A FAKE WEBSITE WITH FAKE STORIES DESIGNED TO POKE FUN AT THE MILITARY. Some of you are taking this as Gospel. You know that other website “The Onion?” This is the military version of that. Calm down. No one died as a result of MG Brown’s speech becuase his speech NEVER HAPPENED. That is all. 🙂

  29. I am loving how worked up everyone is getting over a fake story. I love even more how worked up the “vets” are getting whether they saw combat or not, who gives a shit if we saw combat or not? Do you really have to sit here and argue over the dam internet who’s dick is bigger? Jesus Christ we have more important things to worry about than combat this and combat that, who gives a shit, get off the fuckin computer and go live your life, leave the Army alone and go live your life, remember its ok to be human, I’ve been in a little while and I just figured that out. I suggest some of you practice it too.

  30. I personally don’t find this post funny, though I do see some truth within’ it. I could see a SGT, General etc., saying this to the CSM’S during basic or AIT.. but at graduation, it’s inappropriate. If a “soldier” pulls weeds his whole carrier, then of course that person will not be considered a “Hero of war”. However, every person in the military has a specific MOS that in some way or form benefits the rest of the chain of MOS’S and “titles”. Just like every branch has the same purpose but use different forms of equipment or technique to carry out and accomplish their mission. For some reason though, many belittle other branches or other soldiers within their own branch. Oh and let’s not forget the civilians and how many (not all) view them as being beneath them. Let’s not forget that before the military you were a “civilian” as well and let’s not forget those “civilians” are the family, or teachers, dr.’s, firefighters, police officers, farmers, mechanics, welders, clothing manufactures etc etc etc that also kept/keep you and “your” people safe, fed, educated, clothed, make the parts that help build your equipment for your missions etc etc etc. My point is we all have a purpose in this world and we all choose our paths. I’ve known some strangers that were more of a hero than some soldiers and they were “civilians” who didn’t have a socialized job but saw a “mission” and put their lives on the line to save a few others. I love my country and I support and appreciate the troops for everything they do in the time of need to keep ours and other countries safe and I salute all of those who have put their lives on the line to save another soldier or country….. I just think SOME of the men and women in the military have to remember that they aren’t the only ones putting their lives on the line to save another or many….. and there are many many others who helped to provide and support yourselves in the past/present and who will continue to do so after your “time” or carrier has ended. On another note: I hope the Army continues to make some changes and follow through on their requirements for recruits and for the soldiers already in. I know too many soldiers with hot heads and loose balls that need to have their vagina’s toughened up…. and none of them are women eh ehm.

    • I agree you dont have too kill people too be a true soldier or hero.I put up with a lot of army BS because i dont get respect in my mos.I work really hard out here and im not asking for medals or recognition just alittle appreciation not hey your a pussy because your not doing missions like real soldiers do. Believe me i tak too soldiers who go outside the wire and they tell me they like it better then being on the fobb.Anyway i got love for all my soldiers from the cooks all the way too the guys spillin their guts in the field!!!!

  31. All of you who agree are entitled to your opinions. I wasn’t stupid enough to join infantry because I didn’t want to kill innocent people and then have fun looking at my buddy’s dick afterwards. Plus somebody needs to do your guys wives while you’re being homicidal faggots. Fuck you, fuck your wives, and fuck this general. I will see all of you during Armageddon when I rip your hearts out. Thanks for serving a bad cause. I threw my awards and decorations away, proudly. I’m also proud of not being a jealous white guy who got my feelings hurt by a whore. Blame your daddy’s for feeling without purpose in your lives… whiteBoyHun6

  32. YOU ALL KNOW THIS IS A LIE RIGHT? DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ! THIS DID NOT HAPPEN, I wish someone could stop this fool from posting these false stories as fact. He probably is not even a Soldier. If you are reading this you should be ashamed of yourself!!!!!!

      • haha, same guy that looked surprised and denied denied denied when he got caught with the gay porno mags in the porta shitter (SSG C). get a clue dude

  33. Good ole Ft Benning all day every day BCT D 3/47 09′
    It’s honor to get spoken to like at graduation instead after getting kicked cuz you couldnt handle BCT
    A DAMN SHAME

  34. Yes, I understand this is satire, and yes I agree that what the general said is most likely the unspoken truth about the realities of war. However, I am concerned about the people who think the kind of behavior displayed by the general (in this piece of satire) is acceptable and should be reproduced in real life. Its hardly the kind of behavior I expect from America’s Finest. If anything, this general (if he was real) would be a jaded bastard who needs to be relieved from his duty due to his lack of ability to make rational decisions. You don’t need to become a killing machine. You can be someone who carries out the difficult task of killing those who wish harm upon your people without becoming a PTSD case. Its a rational thing to do. People have done it for millennia. If you find yourself jaded by war and warped by the killing you see, then you are simply not cut out for war, and have forgotten/dont agree with your purpose. Get out of it. Plain and simple.

    • jesus christ…. another dipstick sucker… you know, its people like you that make them pay us less and say i can’t beat my kids. guess what, fuck you. hug a tree. talk about something you actually know about, obama voter. why’d i say that?? because FUCK YOU, thats why.

    • If you can’t understand military humor just leave this page. Haven’t you ever heard of gallow humor? Black Comedy? People like you are what’s wrong with America. So wrapped up in PC that you can’t let anyone else have a laugh.

  35. Sounds Like POLITICAL CORRECTNESS went RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW and some TRUTH WAS SAID …..
    not everyone that Enlists is SOLDIER MATERIAL …..
    And no matter how much training they get if the HEART AINT IN IT ….. the Body wont Get it …..

    jmo ……

  36. OLD BALLS I GARANTTEE ID KNOCK YOU ON YOUR ASS!!!!YOU FUCKIN HOMO CLAIMING ALL THESE MOS S YOU PROBABLY DONT KNO SHIT ABOUT…11 BANG BANG 13 BRAVO HOW COME EVERY OUTSIDER I MEET CLAIMS TOO BE INFANTRY OR SPECIAL FORCES BUUUULLLSHIT YALL PROBABLY WORKED IN THE ORDERLY SUCKIN THE 1ST SGT AND CPT DICK….I BUST MY ASS OUT HERE AND JUST CAUSE I AINTDOIN MISSIONS DOESNT MAKE ME LESS OF A SOLDIER!!!!!

  37. That’s the reality of it. IF you can’t stomach it then your not meant to be Combat Arms. Everyone will fall into more laid back rolls, and that’s just a fact of the mos like any other. It’s ignorance if you can’t understand that. Saying that to new soldiers and families?, well that’s what happens when you put up with that much shit. sometimes you say ‘fuck it’ it happens. moronic for those civis and Greenies to get angry at such an unknown like that, something that they aren’t even close to understanding. I’m just glad no real soldiers were hurt 🙂

    11b.

  38. lol I love it! too bad idiots can’t find the about thread on here. lmfao. smh. I guess SATIRE is a word above and beyond the idiots that think this shit is real lmao!

    • I beat my PRIVATE PARTS every day! Good stuff. Alot of truth to what the underlying theme here is. Some of the comments (Arturo Ortiz) I find a bit humorous. Soldiers naturally like to get together and talk how much harder and worse their tours are or take cheap shots at some MOSs. I own an 11B, 13B, 13F and a 12B. I have met great, REAL, soldiers in every one of them as well as “shit-stains”. Badasses and posers, alike. Stop “comparing dicks”, Arturo, just because you were born with a grub worm for a penis.

  39. First of all I dont think this article is funny (I LMAO) but I’m currently deployed in afghanistan and yes imma fobbit .Never been outside the wire. But I garantee that i got more guts and balls then any of you infantry muthafuckas!!!!!most of yall were probably bitches who got picked on so yall went infantry cause the marines wouldnt take yall..Imma warrior and a mechanic so fuck this and every one a yall commenting on this shit cause thats what it is GRADE A BULLSHIT…

    • “but I’m currently deployed in afghanistan and yes imma fobbit .Never been outside the wire.”

      Let me say this for everyone who’s thinking it. if you haven’t seen real combat, or actually had the opportunity to test your “guts and balls”, then SHUT THE FUCK UP. you’re a fucking mechanic dude. yeah, we need you, big time, thank you for sucking the oil off my dipstick. but theres nothing “warrior” and badass about that. what, do you engage the tiny little fucking unicorns poking holes in the radiator? i don’t see a combat mechanic badge, because there is no such fucking thing. you’re probably the little bitch who got picked on, and didn’t want to get picked on anymore so joined as a mechanic, not because you wanted a great fucking job, but because you pussied out and felt your dick was too small to perform

      • hey britch I probabaly seen more combat in the streets of ny then you seen your hole military career or even your hole fucken life .I got my reasons for not going infantry yeah i was scared but im reenlistin to go infantry just too see what all the hypes about. You got know idea what bein a soldiers about bitch.I WANTED A TRADE DICKHEAD but im reclassin to 11 bang bang.

  40. You guys realize this was not a real article right? 11 Privates were not killed. This is learning through comedy. The author was just making a point ( a good point though).

  41. I do believe he just touched my heart…such sweet sedimental words….I want to work for this General.

  42. Now thats how the army should be with all this soft crap no yelling shit soldiers damn near the same as nco’s these days. but hey general brown keep it real i love it. one more speech for the rode.

  43. Oh this made my day. I would definitely stand and applaud this speech. My favorite part, “They’re not heroes. Neither are your fucking wives. Hardest job in the Army, my ass! Damn it, I’m too old for this shit. Fuck you all.”
    I couldn’t agree more. It makes me sick hearing wives say they have the hardest job in the Army. No we don’t. This is a load of crap if I’ve heard it. We get to stay at home, well protected and safe. What is harder, cleaning the house or living in the desert for months on end thousands of miles away from home, watching your children or fighting a war, keeping your legs closed while your husband is gone or trying not to get shot.

  44. This has probably been stated already but it’s on Duffleblog! As in it’s NOT real and completely made up. People should really pay attention to what they’re reading BEFORE they get their panties in a twist.

  45. yes dizzle, you are obviously trying very hard to be “gangsta”. in fact, so much so, you are typing in ebonics. wow. ur so fucking hard aren’t u? and the likes of you are why obama got elected! white man holding u down huh? thats just great! uneducated spooks like you shouldn’t be allowed to vote! haha i hope ur reading this and ur so mad u have a heart attack. funny statistic-90% of all people chaptered out of the military for drugs are black. why is that dizzle. u disgust me. fuck u

    • There is absolutely no excuse for responding to ignorance with more ignorance. Your racism is polarizing, which means that your entire arguement is easily discarded due to an extreme and unreasonable standpoint. If you are a Soldier, you should be ashamed of yourself. This attitude is not what the US Army or the United States in general are made of. The person looking ignorant before you posted was dizzle, now the ignorant one is sadly, you.

      • Actually Soldiaboy, you did the same thing above! Or wait….is insulting the entire Army (minus combat MOSs) any different than Briang being racist?

    • I think you got that 90% statistic out of your forth point of contact. As a Troop Commander I chaptered 6 soldiers out of the Army for drugs none of them where black. And yes I am Combat arms. If you are truly a leader use the correct facts they can be foound in the Red Book or Gold Book. But you probably dont know what those are becasue you are not a leader!

      • Hey, just wanted to say, great job Troop Commander! What a great leader you are, truly inspirational. Glad you can take the time out of your true leadership responsibilities to correct other dumb fucks about bullshit statistics that you yourself don’t know whos ass to pull it out of.. .hahaha… what a joke

  46. let me guess dizzle. your a fucking awesome person? and probably stationed at ft hood? great use of the english language there. tell me this, why am i a racist douchebag? fuck u u lowly want to be posing fake hard acting piece of shit. maybe not all infantrymen see combat, but “most” (and i say most because there are exceptions to everything) of them enlisted being told they probably would. and thats a hell of a lot more respectable than a fucking awesome ass cook. i wish the army was like this. i really do. and dont come back with some hard ass response. i earned my cib so respect my douchebag authori-tah. OEF 10-11. and my paycheck at that kind sir.

    [cleaned up to get rid of racist elements of comments and make comment much more respectful. -ed]

    • Thank you for so eloquently saying what needed to be said . . . To which I would add – ‘there is no morale problem at Ft. Hood, it’s the GREAT place . . .” Or as a particularly HURRAH USMC General Officer was reported to say, the sole purpose for the infantry is to “locate, close with and destrroy the enemy – by close combat and fire and maneuver – we go down range and break things and hurt people – thats our mission!”

  47. AMANDA!!! You shut your mouth you uneducated bastard. Just from reading your comment, I’ve figured you to be a retard. You should have been a stain on the carpet.

    Wait….

    Maybe your a flunky from BCT and this is your chance to be one of those woulda coulda shoulda scamps.
    Good luck working the hot dog stand.

    Titties!!!

  48. Fake ass wanna be gangsta ass mufuckaz talkin that killa shit.. Lol y’all trip me out tho. Let it be clear, all infantrymen don’t see combat so you can shove that “pog” shit up ya ass

    • You sir, must be a combat servise and support guy. It’s ok, we don’t judge you, we need to to cook our dinner and wash our laundry.

        • Your poor spelling is excused….it’s right on par with your comment. I’m actually surprised you didn’t spell more words incorrectly.

  49. 00′ is definitely not the old Army. I went to basic in 02′ and I have no illusions or machinations about what I went through. There were a couple Drill Sergeants that put their hands on privates, very fucking briefly I might add because as soon as word got out they were under investigation. Not so good if the investigation didn’t go their way. And I am not talking about them beating trainees or anything. Merely grabbing them by the collar aggressively could lead to an investigation. Infantry OSUT was still somewhat challenging then. Its not a matter of who was getting beat and who wasn’t. The quality of men joining the infantry back then was much better. There were still somewhat high standards and it was relatively easy to weed out the turds. Then the war hit the Army head on. We were short on numbers. Standards were relaxed. Soldiers were being pushed through basic basically as cannon fodder. Fat fucks. Criminals. Cowards. Everything the Army was relucatant to allow before. And now we are feeling the pain for it. Thats why the Army is pushing to drop people from its ranks. Retention control points are becoming stricter. Chapter packets are becoming easier. Standards are starting to come back. Slowly but surely the Army is reallizing it made a mistake. I wish this article was real. The Army is ever evolving. It will never be like it was back in the 40’s, or 70’s, or 90’s for that matter. But thats why it is up to us current leaders to make shit right. To enforce standards and deal with the scum apporpriately.

    • 82nd SSG,

      I completely agree with you on your comments. I have also gotten the IG complaint sent in my name. I called a soldier a peace of shit once….you tell me if it fits! The soldier was being chapter for being a pot head, a thieve, would not send money to his wife and treathen to kill his wife….so I pulled him to the side and had a one on one with the person and called him a piece of shit! So a day later I get the IG email by some SFC threatening to start an investigation…..needless to say I got pissed and my commander calmed me down, because I was going to walk to this SFC office and have a chat with him about the situation. You tell me how are we to fix the Army we all love with people like IG holding us down….BTW I chaptered the person out of the Army. So at least I made it a better Army in that regard!

    • Back in the 80’s the beatings were left to the other members of the platoon to “correct” those who really didn’t deserve to wear the BDU’s. The Drill Sergeants basically said you need to police yourself, before we light everyone up. So after the first time we got lit up and smoked, we understood what was implied, and it is amazing what a blanket, sock and bar of soap will do for platoon morale and straightening out those who were complete f*** ups. They either started to toe the line or they begged to be discharged. The men I went through and completed Basic Training with I would to this day trust with mine and my family’s lives. My class had one f*** up who took on one of the Drill Sergeants (who was 18 series MOS trained) by taking a swing, the Drill thoroughly finished the fight, and was subsequently cleared in the investigation, as it was clearly self defense, with plenty of us trainees as voluntary witnesses, the trainee got a Field Grade Article-15, got kicked out of BCT and received platoon based “corrective actions” before he left, as we got punished for that shitheads actions. This was not at Benning, but the same type of actions were commonplace back then as they prohibited the Drill Sergeants from manhandling the trainees.

  50. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! CLICK “ABOUT US” ON THE UPPER LEFT HAND SIDE!!

    THIS ENTIRE SITE IS DEVOTED TO COMEDY!

  51. This would have been better if the author realized that an Infantry CSM would be more realistic plus the fact that Brown has PCS’d from here at Benning to Lewis. Still, entertaining stuff for someone who’s lost stripes for telling people they were oxygen thieves for about 12 years now. 🙂

  52. Read my book entitled SPC DAVIS . It is about the life and death of my son who lost his life on the hands of “4 shit heads” from Ft. Binning. The General generalized comment lead to the death of 11 innocent young Americans. They haven’t served yet. They are just starting their tour of duty. So, the General must be a “shit head”, also for his lack of sensitivity, lacking sound judgment, and indiscretion, if this article is true..

    I agree, “shit heads” should not be allowed to served in the military, much more to lead.
    The issuance of moral waivers have increased dramatically, allowing event violent criminals with gang ties and prior mental health problems to enter into service, My son’s death is a direct result of these low recruitment standards.

    • The article is not true. It clearly says that on the “About Us” page: “The content of this site is parody. No composition should be regarded as truthful, and no reference of an individual, company, or military unit seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm.”

  53. Some of you guys are full of “you know what”. I see people talking about joining the army back in 2000. Sorry but that is not old army my friend. I enlisted in 92 and I’m still in might I add. To the guy who said Drill sergeants were beating privates when they were in basic in 2000 you my friend are a damn lier and as a former Drill Sergeant I call bullshit. Some of you need to quit telling bold face lies and trying hype yourselves up because the real old soldiers are watching and we don’t believe you.

      • I went to basic in 87′ good old Fort Bliss. Had a Drill Sergeant dislocate a guys shoulder, that was about it. Same Drill Sergeant who was busted for charging trainees rent the cycle before ours.

    • I went to basic in 06′ and it might not be like the old army and it wasnt that bad but a drill SGT did throw a desk at a private and break her leg and MY Drill SGT Picked a kid up by his throat and slammed him on the bay doors. And we were working with drill SGTs in training and the head instructor for the Drill SGTs in training tried to throw me into a barbed wire fence before I was caught by my drill SGT and the Drill sgts started first fighting. Dont say they didnt hit you b.c. I went in 06′ and they were still hitting people. This is a funny article though 😀

    • Platoon Daddy,
      I am a Drill Sergeant. My Drill Sergeants were relieved of duties and thrust into the media spotlight for beating, pointing loaded rifles and pistols at, and generally abusing Soldiers.
      That said, I don’t believe it made us bad Soldiers. In my platoon of 35 that graduated, 6 were Drill Sergeants in my Squadron when I came on the trail. That is uncommon, across the board. My hazing classes in Drill Sergeant School were about my own Drill Sergeants and situations I saw or was a part of.
      I believe it made me stronger. It happened in 2001. Don’t be in denial. Your experience may have been non-physical as a Drill Sergeant, but that doesn’t mean that everyone followed regulations.
      The real old Soldiers are all 1SG and CSM by now. Why aren’t you??

    • I entered the military in 1975 and can atest that during that time it was still common practice for a drill to knock someone on there A$$ or give them an A$$ whooping! Times have changed…….When I became a Drill it wasnt going on….and I heard even later the privates could pull out stress cards like a time out…WTF! LOL! I am soooo glad I didn’t see those stress cards as I think I would have gone Postal! J/S!

    • You all are full of shit. The drill sergeants do not go and arbitrarily whoop a private. When one bucks up and takes a swing though he/she will take an ass whoopin. You guys that say basic was so hard…..bullshit. It is like disney land without the roller coaster. AR 350-6 needs to be taken out and burned along with the fuck sticks that wrote it. Pencil pushers that dont have to deal with the crap. In basic and ait the privates have the power. I got investigated 8 damn times cuz some private said. Dont worry I beat it every time and was only actually guilty twice. Basic is to weed out the weak ones which is only about 10-15%. It does not do that though cuz it is a cake walk. In the defense of the younger Soldiers though I saw many a young ones shine in combat. Self preservation is a bitch. I also saw a few fold up and bitch out….very few. There just is no sense of accomplishment or pride to be had with todays basic and ait. I went through in 88 and it was tough but i smiled like a dumbass for a month cuz it was tough and I did not fail. Learned alot about what I can and cant do. Unfortunately todays younger Soldiers have to learn under fire about discipline cuz the NCO Corps is no longer allowed to instill it or too afraid of their Soldiers to do so. Grab your fuckin nuts NCO’S you are fucking up my Army. Discipline is at all times and Soldiers need to be taught by us how to represent the Army properly. We the NCO Corps let the Army get soft. Used to be a Sergeant Major or 1SG posted at the PX to fuck you up when you showed up looking like shit or out of uniform. Now I see them walk right by fucked up Soldiers and not say shit. The Senior NCO’s need to unfuck the discipline problem. Discipline builds teams before they have to be one.

    • oops… sorry Karen… I thought you were serious… you got me! (a beautiful example of a classic “double-punk”) 😉

  54. Some one had better fire his ass before the sun comes up tomorrow! And every soldier that killed another soldier needs to be court marshalled. The General is not honorable enough to deserve a court marshall. If anyone has a problem with that come and speak to me directly!

  55. what that general said, if he did or didnt say it, is true. i completed infantry basic and AIT in november 2010 todays military is full of pussies that will just freeze up or hunker down during a firefight. i know this because ive seen it plenty of times. after i completed AIT i was deployed to afghanistan 2 months later, and i cant even count on my fingers and toes how many pussies cried and begged to never leave the base for a mission. i know a guy that just froze up and wouldnt move so we had to tackle his ass just to get him into cover. i was only in afghanistan for 3 days before i hit my first IED but that never stopped me from going out on missions. i salute that general and anyone else who has the balls to tell all these grunts at basic and AIT the truth.

  56. Great article. bethf, pull your panties out of the knot they are in lol. Too much sensitivity / PC is ruining our Army. If you can’t take a little light hearted cursing / verbal abuse you DAMN sure can’t make it on the field of battle. I remember going through IBT back in 00′ and it was what training was supposed to be. We weren’t coddled, our drill sergeants would beat the hell out of people for messing up…. and we learned. Too bad this is a satirical piece and things like this will never happen 🙁

    • Dude we did not then, did not before, and do not now beat privates in basic training or AIT. The closest you will find would be combatives training. Stop telling these people lies. We already get a bad enough rap without you guys making up crap.

      • In 1977 Drill Sergeants beat the shit out of trainees at times, not every day and not very often. I saw it and the person getting beaten always deserved it. Back then, half the basic training company was guys avoiding going to jail. I wish that was still done by judges. Some of those guys turned out real well.

    • bullshit i went ft dix in 91for INF.BASIC the drills were more like big brothers . then BENNING onTANK HILL for advanced INF TRAINING. NO [email protected]#IN BODY LAID A HAND ON ANYONE. THERE WERE AFEW THAT IT WOULD OF HELPED THOUGH.

  57. If basic was anything like it should be it shouldn’t have been anything new to those recruits to get spoken to like that. That was how I got treated every day of boot camp when I joined the marine corps. Great speech.

    • I agree. I joined the Army a year ago and expected basic to be the hardest thing of my life. All our Drill Sgts did is yell and cuss because these days… it’s all it takes to scare a dumb private. My dad went through basic in the 70’s and my basic didn’t hold a stick to his. We’ll just say… at graduation, I felt no sense of accomplishment.

  58. This is not funny at all. In fact whomever wrote this should be shot. I have family at Fort Benning right now. This is shit and you should be ashamed of yourselves

    • You should be shot for not having a sense of humor. That is was this is meant to be, FUNNY! And it was!

    • Get off of your fucking high horse. Have you had to deal with these little bastards? Your prob on of those dumbasses who sat on the FOB and heard about stuff that happened on the other side of the Country “Called” home and told your family you felt the blast and had to pick up bodies you dumb fuck.

    • Yep … get over it. People like yo uare the ones that have my Army so fucked up now. It’s a big world learn to get along and stop seeking out opportunities to be offended.

      • I did not seek an opportunity to be offended. Joking about people being killed is not funny and is never funny especially when you have close family at that particular base. You all apparently have a warped sense of humor.

        • Unless you’ve been in the military you probably won’t find the humor in it. In that case it wasn’t meant for you or your wussy, touchy feely side. Go call Oprah and have a good cry,

          The military isn’t there for flowers and baking parties. Our job is to protect you from people who want to kill you, your children and everyone else around you. We can only do it by having a little bit different point of view.

          Sgt. Ahole (as recruits refer to me)

        • Bethf. Well see all below, you still do not get it. You are of the group that sees the military as a social experiment – demanding PCing of all speeches, actions, and interaction among service members. Read the mission statements of units, we do bad things to bad people so idiots like you can bitch and moan about your pet goldfish not being allowed to vote. So enjoy your freedoms given to you by the blood of others, but do not speak on behalf of the people you really demonstrate you do not understand … as COL Jacobs said .. “Just say thank you, and let us do our job; but do not tell me how to do my job.” So sign up and ruck up, or shut up. You either have the guts to do it or hide behind the freedoms provided by the ones who do.

        • if you have family there you should know this isnt true. as humorous the speech would have been if it was true.. it not

        • Hey Beth, shut your moaning fucking mouth. your family member is probably a whining little bitcH like u. Don’t ever think your opinion matters to us warfighters, it doesn’t. USMC KILL!

    • You have family at Ft Benning? My God you must be worried to death. I myself am in afghanistan, I leave the wire 2-3 times a day and there has been 1 patrol where I havent been shot at. But thank God Im not at Ft Benning, it sounds sooooooo dangerous over there.

    • I agree with you! My son is in Infantry right now at Fort Benning and don’t find anything funny about this. All these people are just as disrespectful as the soldiers they are making fun of….going into military now and fighting for the Commander and Cheif that is in office now takes guts. I applaud anyone who makes the commitment…regardless of what anyone says it is HARD!!!

      • And that is of course where probably most of the people on here will disagree with you. Sure joining, VOLUNTARILY, is commendible and wanting to fight for your country is honorable. However, any tom dick and harry can join. Going through basic is rough, physically, but that can be overcome with determination and drive to improve ones self. Its the mental resilience one would have to overcome those obstacles and push through the pain. Unfortunately quality soldiers in that regard are few, quantity wise, we have some that crater at the first sign of stress. soldiers/marines, who read this story and reflect back on this experience can laugh and joke, because they see the changes and types of troops being graduated. Remember, some of these people on here have to lead these types of troops. Some troops will take 90% of your time, and your whole company will get 10%.

  59. I think this general needs sensitivity training and a healthy dose of Political Correctness from the Pelosi-Reid Center for Responsible & Ethical Warfighting Institute.

    • You’re not a-kiddin….

      Hey, does the Army take prior service 60 yr olds?
      This sounds like fun.

  60. Now if it had said CSM.Purdy, I would have believed it but a General nah not going to happen,they are to busy playing the “PC” game to bull anything like that!!

    • CSM Purdy was my BN CSM for a while. He definitly didn’t mince words. AT least he didn’t take thr R&R’s during a deployment like my previous CSM had!

  61. Sometimes the truth hurts. It made me smile as I thought about my own graduation from Sand Hill in ’83 and the crap spewed forth from our key note speaker. For that matter, OCS, IOBC, IERW same/same. It isn’t what is said about you, it is how you handle your career and what you believe.

    • hey it’s a job we all vollenteered for . IF YA CNN’T TAKE IT GO HOME !!! I THOUGHT I WAS GETTIN SOFT IN THE 90’S FOR USEING SAT. COM. and GPS.

  62. OK… before I begin, this brought a tear to me eye. So, I know this is a parody article but with all parodies and farses, they are based a little upon truths. A truth that I need cleared is this: I went through Infantry OSUT down at Sand Hill and for damn sure didn’t get a fucking ceremony and speech after the Basic phase. And as far as I know, there’s only one MOS that does IBCT down at Benning (OCS doesn’t count). SO are they doing this now? Are they giving them a ceremony for completing the 9 week BCT phase of OSUT?

    • No they didn’t start doing that, my cousin just finished up and from what he described it’s the same is it was 5 years ago… except no more shark attacks. no passes, getting all the “poison” out of you after family day, Honor hill, stairway to heaven, the bayonet… you know, all the “fun” shit. I checked everywhere I could think and couldn’t find any other article anywhere about this, gotta be made up.

      • I went to basic in sand hill.. if he gave that speech when I grad. I would have laughed my fucking ass off lol.. but yes. Basic isn’t what it used to be, now they cleared all the other stuff up cuz some one got hurt or there feelings turned to shit, and they jumps out of the window in the barrics.. it just goes to prove that they have people joining.. and making it past basic n ait, that should have been weeded out. I’m not saying they should commit suicide, noooo .. cuz they made the honorble choice to join.., b ut If you can’t make it, don’t do it.., and the things removed from basic that should have stayed.
        I gues you can say its just a development of the army.. hopefully it is for the greater good..and yes the biggest experience is deployment.. but basic , and ait has to get the ready for that experience. To do what you gave to to get the job done..even if you have to pull the trigger n shoot em in the face. If basic n ait doesn’t get them ready.. well let’s hope the army changes them to the level of training for the experience.. Hooah!!!!!!

      • I agree specialist, but why would they print this, and why would they or who would print this? My son, who is in the army email me this artical. How the person, who published this bull get away with slantering army forces, General, Drill sgts, and the shit stains, i would think if this had of happen the drill sgts would broke arms to disable instead of killing them., i know this to be true, because i was drill sgt at Ft. Jackson! I think the Duffle Blog has the Duffle Bag Drag!!

        • I agree specialist, but why would they print this, and why would they or who would print this? My son, who is in the army email me this artical. How the person, who published this bull get away with slandering armed forces, General, Drill sgts, and the shit stains, i would think if this had of happen the drill sgts would broke arms to disable instead of killing them., i know this to be true, because i was drill sgt at Ft. Jackson! I think the Duffle Blog has the Duffle Bag Drag!!

          Read more: http://duffelblog.wpengine.com/2012/07/general-gives-controversial-graduation-speech-riot-ensues/#comment-2748#ixzz227k8gXWy
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          • The Army keeps getting softer and softer until the backbone will just be gone all together. The day of being hard core and doing your duty has gone extinct. We still have badass soldiers but the higher ups can’t train them correctly because of all the politcal correctness. Shut up Jake “Freedom of Speech” We use to train killers to kill. No we train them to kill if it doesn’t upset them. The Infantry can’t even sing cadence while running that is the least bit offensive to anyone. Take the Infantry and train them on a sperate post and away from all the panty wearing bullshit experts. When you carry a weapon for a living and are expected to kill the fucking enemy with extreme predjudice, you shouldn’t be worried about what someone might think about how you get trained.

          • Its supposed to be comedic while at the same time shining light on the softness of some of today’s incoming basic trainee’s. Soldiers especially Drill Sergeants have always busted trainee’s chops for being weak but the consensus I get from friends of mine who are now Drill Sergeants is that troops are coming to them with no sense of what comrade means. This whole be an individual belief is a threat to the military and alot of these KIDS feel they can do whatever whenever.

      • Well, at least they got rid of the stress cards. THAT lunacy was a major step backward in readiness.

        Damned funny yarn though!

    • your fuckin retarded sand hill ( home of the infantry) hasnt been home of the infantry for 3 years. now several MOS’s do their basic there

      • it’s a shame too, the infantry needs a place where they can train to a real standard and POG’s can stay out.

    • I was an 88m, not infantry and went through basic on sand hill in 2002. So multiple mos’s were going through befor then.

    • i know they use to have regular basic there also aside infantry osut. couldnt find this story anywhere else. it doesnt add up. i think its BS. this would have made big news.

      • Either way it makes for a hell of a read and something to think about . modern military is going from JOHN WAYNE to the freakin brady bunch.

    • Its no longer just Infantry guys going to FT Benning. Alot of different MOS go there now.

    • Read the comments of those people who believed this article. They all mention how bad ass this officer was but failed to mention the supposed 11 people killed. All of the softening up the Army is doing is to gain more technology minded recruits. The sad fact is that many of the tech savvy guys also happen to be the polar opposite of the beans and bullets hard ass trooper. As the military relies more on tech the concertina chewing grunt will be less useful. Im not saying combat MOS guys are dumb but we all know that CSM who eats copenhagen for breakfast and he is perfectly suited for one thing and that is fighting. This “softening” the Army is doing is a mistake because eventually our enemies will figure out that the only chance they have to hurt us is by vietnam era tactics. Its kinda like owning a scoped rifle without iron sights,eventually that scope will fail.

      • Well I’m speaking for myself and not sure where you get your info, but you’re stupid. The Infantry has the highest GT score in the Army. I myself have a degree in computer electronics and can shoot with the best of them, fight hand to hand well, so your tech savvy guys as a polar opposite is a dumb assumption. Everyone knows what happens when we assume something. So please inform us where you get your info worldly knowledge from. Basically everything you stated is crap. I can fix a computer, server, and network, and then take that network, server, and computer, and beat the leaving shit out of the enemy with it, or just shoot them.

        • As a former US Army recruiter (DA Selected), I can say that Mr. James Baum is full of himself to remotely think that the Infantry has the highest GT score! You may have had a very high GT Score, but that didn’t qualifiy you for the Infantry. The “GT” score is only used to determine your catagory not for a certian job. The min. to join active duty is a GT score of 31. The highest GT score is 99. Your ASVAB Aptitude line score is what determines the different MOS you “could” be successful in. 11B could have GT of 31 and have a ASVAB Line score of 90 in CO to qualify. Whereas 25B, lnformation Systems Operator-Analyst, can have a GT score of 31 and a line score of 100 in ST to qualify. The GT score and Line scores are Apples and Oranges in the Recruiting business. The GT score only places you into Recruiting Catagories. GT of 50 (A)or higher only get you extra cash bonuses or College $$ or Station of choice, etc. If you scored a 31-49 (B), you get the basic package … unless the recruiting mission is sucking A** on making thier month or year quota. Cat A’s is the primary mission target and earn the recruiter more points to thier Gold Badge or additional Stars and recruiter rings. They want you to join whether or not it will maximize your personal talents (Aptitude).
          Of course you did’t believed that your recruiter and MEPS “career counselor” wouild ever sell you one of “thier” priority MOS to meet thier monthly quota. IF you so “gifted” with computers, you should have taken 25B and build your skills with formal schools and hands-on expereince by actually working in the field. As a current IT Contractor in Afghanistan, we look for 25 series MOS’s for IT positions not Infantry.
          According to you rambling of what your could do, you are either a under-utilized Grunt playing unit IMO or your not a grunt but a 25N, Signal guy that plays MW3 too much at a FOB or base Base drinking Green Bean lattes.
          USA-Ret 25W4P

          • Overall ASVAB score is what maxes at 99, and that is based on who well you scored compared to other people.

            Your GT score can, in theory, be over 100, but thats pretty unusual. The highest I’ve seen is 139, the same person had line scores of 140+. (Why he joined the army I have no idea). He was 15W, UAV Operator (which DOES have some of the highest ASVAB scores in the army, and is what I do).

          • Bob:

            There’s nothing unusual about having a GT of over a 100. Not only is it common, it’s pretty ideal these days.

      • Why does the military have to soften people up?? They should be tech savvy badasses!!

  63. I sooo wish this were real. My kid is one of the little bald bastards who is now in AIT. He would have loved this speech too. He’s always complaining about the shit-stains he was in basic with.

          • Basic and AIT are solely for weeding out people who should not be in the Army. You have no weight or useable point of view until you get to a unit. Basic instills the most important element of being a soldier and that is loyalty. I applaud your sons choice to join the military but I would advise him to “earnave expressed his keep” before deciding who the shit stains are. I attended basic in 99′ and even then basic training units had softened thier tactics. Some of the men I was with while still in went on to be Drill’s and have expressed thier worries about the negative side effects that “softening up” basic training has caused. To me basic training allows leadership to test soldiers heart and how they will act under pressure before a lack of confidence costs a soldier his life.

          • Brian, when their mommies call the BCT commander because their angels got in trouble for being disrespectful and lazy, I think it’s safe to call them shit-stains.

          • I do agree that the fact that a mother would call a commanding officer just shows a lack of respect for the traditions of Basic Training . Most guys on the first day of basic were uneasy or even scared. Between the fear of the unknown and the large E-7 in front of you even the hardest guys took notice. Being able to function under that stress is what lets the Drills know your ready to move on. I was uneasy my first day but once I got my bearing and ate that shit up. If you knew you were doing right and still getting chewed then you also knew they expected more from you. Surviving basic was a sorce of pride and how proud could you be if it were a breeze. So a message to the moms: Resist the urge to call your sons commander at basic training,I promise you everything his leadership does is an essential part of basic training developed over thousands of cycles.

      • Uh yeah, if it meant I could beat the hell out of the little “I don’t care I’m so bored bastards” like you. I would be there in a heart beat. Look at your pic. You don’t give a damn about anything. You don’t care about shit, and life has not impressed you in the least. You’re sitting there waiting to see what Obummer will hand you for free next. How’s that unemployment thing workin for ya?

    • and lo, it was heard throughout the land as the Drill Instructor (Drill Sergeant) shouted, “Hey you – yeah YOU – baldie – come here!” and he was stampeded by a 1000 terrified recruits (trainees) because in those days, the Drill Instructors words were law . . .

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