FORT MEADE, MD – Private First Class Bradley Manning will go free after all charges against him were dropped in a stunning outcome which has shocked experts and brought an abrupt close to one of the greatest espionage trials in U.S. history.

In a series of legal maneuvers which left the prosecutor speechless with rage, PFC Manning not only had all 22 charges dropped, but his intelligence clearance was also reinstated. Manning will also be meritoriously promoted to Sergeant, and receive a $500,000 settlement from the US government.

Manning had confounded prosecutors with a series of brilliant tactics that relentlessly delayed his trial, and redirected accusations back against the U.S. government. When accused of leaking over 250,000 classified documents to a foreign national, Manning coolly rebutted that his actions were in protest against Don't Ask Don't Tell. When told that his behavior in Iraq was illegal, Manning retorted that it was no more illegal than the American invasion. At one point Manning began emulating Major Nidal Hasan and grew a beard.