BEIJING, CHINA - The Chinese military today abandoned its planned Operation DRAGON BYTE, a massive Distributed Denial Of Service (DDOS) attack on the US Army's main computer network, Army Knowledge Online (AKO).

"When we tried to hack in, we were surprised to discover that AKO was already offline," said Wei Wei Bak, a PLA programmer who often boasts of his exploits on hacker message boards.

"At first, our intelligence believed the Americans had shut down the site because they had advance knowledge of the impending cyber attack. Or maybe that the North Koreans had hacked them first. But it turns out that AKO really does suck that badly."

"Their ineptitude really is their best security," he added.