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Taliban Spring Offensive 2013: What’s Out, What’s In, And Where To Find It For Cheap

Note: This story was originally published in Al-Daffla Blog, a joint media venture between Duffel Blog and Al Jazeera.

Reading through news reports trying to find inspiration for a new spring attack can be depressing for a twenty-something Taliban fighter. If you’re like most, you may fall in love with one particular suicide vest considered “hot” for this season, only to find out it cost $1300 and it’s way out of your price range.

With the Spring Offensive already underway, Shahamat insurgent style reporter Zabiullah Mujahid shared his thoughts on the upcoming seasons’ hottest styles and even explained where frugal Talib insurgents can find them.

Perhaps the easiest trends to mimic are suicide attacks. Zabiullah expects vests and belts to be signature styles of spring 2013, with shoes being a strong contender.

“You’re making a real bang with these choices,” explains Zabiullah. “There’s a lot of accessorizing coming in the spring, too.”

As for patterns, Zabiullah says stripes — maybe brown and tan — are going to be huge this spring. While it may not be necessarily groundbreaking, going shoeless is also expected to be big in 2013. Being clean-shaven is also starting to make a comeback.

When it comes to shouting out prayers during attacks, less is more in 2013.

“Long-winded praises to Allah are out,” says Zabiullah.

The style reporter adds that Mullah Omar has called for quicker attacks and less delaying.

“I would say, just cut out the prayer all together,” he explains. “Allah knows why you are killing yourself, and who really wants to distract from the extra fabric around his hips by calling more attention to his face?”

“Timing switches are out, and triggers are in,” says Zabiullah. “A trigger switch is just the smartest thing. I can wear it day or night.”

Turbans seem to be a staple of all Talib, but they’re also losing their allure in 2013.

“Turbans have dropped,” says Zabiullah. “I’m very into basic and classic. A pakol is the smartest thing.”

Along with a smaller hat, Zabiullah recommends a less assuming and more pleasant facial expression.

“Just because you are killing coalition troops, along with innocent Afghan civilians, doesn’t mean you can’t do it with a smile on your face.”

For those looking for less expensive clothing that doesn’t look like it will catch on fire as soon as you detonate, Zabiullah recommends hitting up the Red Crescent for the absolute best in Saudi and Iranian donations. Several have opened up in Kabul, including one that opened up in a basement alongside a bomb-making factory on Wednesday.

To learn more fashion tips, follow Zabiullah on Twitter:  @ThaBombFashion

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