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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 126 · Thursday, 22 October 2026

Pentagon

Hegseth consults God via dumpster fire behind Pentagon

Secretary says God commanded him to invade Greenland, restore Christian values

US to livestream execution of Ukraine

Iran condemns US plan to livestream execution as barbaric

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Vol. 15 · No. 126 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

22 October 2026

0956 Zulu

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· Page 2

Marine celebrates historic six month marriage

Filed · 1545

TWENTYNINE PALMS, CA – The 1st Marine Tank Battalion threw a party to celebrate Lance Corporal Matt Blake’s marriage reaching an unprecedented six months.

“This is an inspiring story of true love overcoming all obstacles,” said Gunnery Sergeant Jason Watt, who holds the current record for sleeping with Blake’s wife three times since the couple married. “It’ll melt the coldest heart.”

Blake met his wife Sarah at The Cactus Room, an upscale restaurant in town. It was an entire week before they moved in together and Blake waited a record three weeks before proposing. The couple was engaged for two whole days before getting married at a civil ceremony in time for happy hour.

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