AUSTIN, TX — A local man has revealed that — despite there being no enemy to attack, bullets whizzing by your head, or soul-crushing bureaucracy to deal with long after being injured on the battlefield — the Tough Mudder adventure race is practically the same thing as military combat.

"Now I haven't been in combat per se," said 22-year-old software developer James Young, while reflecting back on the troubling times he had during the intense savagery of the 'TM' as he calls it, "but this race was probably just like it. My heartbeat was up, everyone was pumped, and we were fighting for our lives."

Young, who completed the Tough Mudder race hours ago, described the the challenge as a "crucible of combat."

"When I had to jump into the freezing cold water, it was exactly like that time in the movie Shooter where Mark Wahlberg was firing at people in the arctic," said Young. "Then we had to run up and down these hill obstacles like the brave men serving in Afghanistan."