This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
President Obama announces capture of Warren Terror
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After a daring pre-dawn raid on a bomb-making factory in Yemen early Friday, President Barack Obama announced to the world that Warren Terror had finally been captured.
"After I learned of solid intelligence, and I learned of this terror mastermind, I discussed the possibility of conducting a raid with my national security team," Obama said in a speech from the White House. "After I carefully deliberated, I then consulted a Magic 8-Ball to ask whether this was a good decision. I then authorized members of the U.S. Navy SEALs to capture or kill Warren Terror. I am proud to report that he is now in custody."
More Stories
Pentagon unveils ‘Send Someone Else’ campaign for Iran war supporters
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Trump strikes deal to buy precision missiles from North Korea
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Air Force IG uncovers SNACKOs taking kickbacks from Big Insulin
R.J. Williams
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Pentagon facing dangerous shortage of fucks given
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Opinion: Listen up, assholes. Turn in your excess cruise missiles or everybody stays in formation
Bull Winkle
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Army Reserve adopts 'Nothing we do today is more important than lunch' as new recruiting slogan
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Duffel Labs
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Pocket NCO
Leadership advice with a knife hand.
Navy SEAL Book Generator
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DD-214 Fortune Teller
Your civilian future, declassified.
Military Speech Builder
Remarks for ceremonies and mandatory fun.
Veteran Benefits Finder
Find benefits you might have missed.
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