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Meet The Porn Star Who’s A Lieutenant In The Army Reserve

SAN FERNANDO, CA — Ask adult film star Sophi “Vagzilla” Shaina what her favorite outfit is and you may get a strange answer: the drab set of Army ACU’s she gets to trade her workplace thong and latex for, one weekend a month and two weeks a year.

That’s because Sophi, or 1st Lt. Shaina as her soldiers call her, is an officer in the Army Reserve — the first and only porn star the U.S. Army will grudgingly admit is serving in its ranks. While the Army is usually eager to highlight the extra-curricular activities of its members, several spokesmen either refused or were extremely reluctant to identify 1st Lt. Shaina as a reservist.

“I can confirm that Lt. Shaina is a member of the Army Reserve, but I can’t speak to what she does when she takes off the uniform,” said one Army spokesman who asked not to be identified.

Shaina says that while her career may be controversial to some, she’s not worried about being dismissed from the Army. Unlike former Idaho Guardsman Amy Weidner, who was summarily fired after she was discovered running a porn site, Shaina has been both open about her career and has high marks and gushing reviews from former commanding officers, including Gen. Jeffrey Sinclair and Lt. Col. Jeff Krusinski.

The 25-year-old actress graduated in 2010 from Los Angeles Valley College with a bachelor’s degree in Jazz Music; then like a lot of local girls went straight into the adult film industry to pay off her student loans.

“After a while I realized that most of my fans were active-duty military and their families, so I started doing autograph signings around various Army bases,” Shaina told Duffel Blog.

“One time this recruiter tried hitting on me, but I guess he was so nervous that his pickup lines were just listing all the benefits of an Army career. I was totally sold, and even though I shot him down, I wound up coming by his office the next week to sign up.”

When asked what appealed to her most about an Army career, Shaina paused, then said, “I guess up until then I thought I had it all: free plastic surgery, a nice car, an expensive house, not to mention an on-call brigade of attractive men and women to have sex with; but I didn’t. There was a hole in my life. A big gaping hole that only the Army could fill.”

Still, Shaina says, her dual-life has presented some challenges.

“The constant name and facial recognition I got on [Kandahar] airfield were really hard,” Shaina said of her recent deployment to Afghanistan. “Everyone knew who I was, everyone wanted their picture taken with me, everyone wanted to have sex with me… I even caught “Bagram Batman” hiding outside my trailer one night … Honestly, now I know what it feels like to be [Medal of Honor recipient] Sal Giunta.”

When asked if she was just talking about the U.S. military, Shaina responded, “Well, obviously they’re part of it. But I apparently have a huge following in the Middle East as well.”

“Back in April I was outside the wire on a Female Engagement Team doing a house search, and I found a Taliban hard drive full of bomb-making instructions and my videos. That’s also when my [Intelligence Section] told me I was the Quetta Shura’s Ms. Infidel for 2012.”

“After that my commanding officer started bringing me to all the local shurahs, just to drive up attendance. It was just like the [Adult Entertainment Expo], only the guys there aren’t as creepy.”

When asked which job she found harder, Lieutenant Shaina said it was porn by a mile.

“Army life is so much easier than porn,” Lieutenant Shaina said. “I’m used to authority figure-types yelling at me and making me stick my face to the ground, so push-ups were super easy. And on drill weekends, I get to take a break from hanging out with ripped, good-looking guys with big dicks and hang out with soldiers instead.”

Duffel Blog Investigative Correspondent Ron contributed to this report, and wants to know why it hurts when he pees.

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[…] Meet The Porn Star Who?s A Lieutenant In The Army Reserve Here is another female officer who ought to get a shot….{humor} […]

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