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Nidal Hasan’s Death Sentence Delayed By Supply Checkout

FORT HOOD, TX — After being convicted and sent to death row for the murder of 13 soldiers, the death sentence of former Army Maj. Nidal Hasan has been delayed indefinitely due to problems with checking out of supply, sources confirmed today.

Before he can be moved to Fort Leavenworth’s Death Row, Hasan still needs to turn in all of his gear to the Central Issue Facility (CIF), an arduous process that some believe could take years.

“This really is not something that we had planned for,” said Lt. Col. Neil Hayes, who prosecuted the Hasan case. “We knew the mandatory appeals process would delay his sentence being carried out, but the supply system threatens to derail the process entirely.”

According to sources at CIF, Hasan needs to return all his issued gear — his poncho liner, pack, helmet, and his sleeping bag for example — in pristine condition, with no dirt, dust, scratches, or bullet holes.

“That last one may be a problem. During his attack, he was shot while wearing his issued flak jacket,” said Hayes. “And CIF just won’t budge on this.”

“He also gave away his poncho liner to a local mosque as a prayer rug,” he added. “I mean, seriously, what an asshole.”

The circumstances of gear being lost or damaged doesn’t matter, according to Leon Johnson, a manager at Fort Hood CIF, who’s proud to be the facility’s token Vietnam veteran, which is required at all installations.

“Our job here is to maintain the Army’s supply system in the most bureaucratic and non-thinking way possible,” Johnson told reporters. “Soldiers need to learn to take care of their gear in all conditions — Afghanistan, Iraq, doesn’t matter — and turn it in better than when they got it.”

Hasan may have to fill out a lost or damaged gear statement, but sources told Duffel Blog that the former psychiatrist has resisted such a move, saying that writing things in English would go against his religion.

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[…] no place on the path to Janaah for the frightened or cowardly. Do not end your days in prison like Nidal Malik Hasan (may God provide for his release). Go to your death in a blaze of glory and carve your name in […]


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