For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing

4,200+dispatches filed

17,000+readers briefed

· Page 2

Former defense Secretary Bob Gates slips, falls on knife 68 times

By Duffel Blog Staff · Bureau · 1 minute

Filed 5 October 2022 · 1543

SEATTLE — Former Defense Secretary Robert Gates is in critical-but-stable condition in Seattle-Tacoma General Hospital after a tragic accident in his home kitchen left him brutally stabbed multiple times, sources confirmed this morning.

Gates’ wife Becky found him lying on the floor of the family kitchen and called 911, according to a family spokesperson.

Also on this page

Navy & Marines

Marine with extremely low IQ thrilled by switch to Super Intelligence

Marine Corps announces major technological advancement requiring millions of dollars in new signage and PowerPoint slides

Veterans

Homeless veterans receive 10% off cardboard boxes this Veterans Day

Home Depot and Lowe's announce new discount on temporary shelter for America's heroes

Pentagon

Hegseth asks staff to make next execution more like ‘The Running Man’

Pentagon says condemned prisoners could compete for freedom in televised death matches