Navy SEALs Find Jesus

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JERUSALEM – In a recent boost for Middle Eastern peace efforts, the Defense Department confirmed that a raid by Navy SEALs in the West Bank had killed known extremist agitator Isa Ibn Yusuf.

The 35-year old resident was facing a federal indictment on several counts of supporting terrorism and had been accused of recruiting young men for a violent group of zealots.

"It may have taken us 40 days and 40 nights, but we got him," said Special Operations Command head Admiral William McRaven while describing the mission.

Ibn Yusuf, who at one point claimed he would set the world on fire and that he had not come to bring peace but a sword, was discovered on Sunday during a pre-dawn raid in a cave outside of Jerusalem.

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

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