WASHINGTON, D.C. — With Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel announcing his resignation on Monday, rumors and speculation about possible successors have gripped beltway insiders.

Sources tell Duffel Blog that President Obama may be seeking a Hail Mary to deflect attention from executive action on immigration and problems in the middle east. The latest rumor that has congressional staffers running for cover is that TV and film star Ashton Kutcher may be the president’s nominee for the Pentagon’s top job.

Kutcher, whose only military experience was a week-long boot camp training to play a Coast Guard rescue swimmer in the 2006 flop “The Guardian” alongside fellow big screen valor stealer Kevin Costner, is receiving cautious welcome among Democrats.