HONOLULU, HI – President Obama has signed an order creating the world's largest Marine preserve in the Pacific Ocean, a move the president has said will further protect the natural habitat of America's most treasured amphibians.

Obama made the announcement at a ceremony in Honolulu attended by dozens of officials from the Department of Natural Resources and the III Marine Expeditionary Force. According to White House aides, the decision will set aside almost 64 million square miles from the snows of far-off Northern lands and in sunny tropic scenes where Marines can safely train or deploy from dawn to setting sun without fear of being shot at.

It will also benefit the numerous squids which the Marines maintain a parasitic relationship with and use to migrate over the sea.

Although viewed in many countries as an invasive species, Marines, or Semperus fidelius, could once be found in every clime and place from the Halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli. But decades of climate change and overpopulation have mostly confined them to swampland in the eastern United States and a few remote desert and island areas. Various subspecies like the China Marine are all but extinct.