BALTIMORE, Md. — The Army-Navy Game has provided critical insight into the effort it takes to fight futilely for an unattainable victory to future Army second lieutenants for more than a decade, and that's all a part of the plan, Duffel Blog has learned.

The Army's record-breaking 12-game losing streak against the Naval Academy is actually an experiment to build officer resiliency for the military's next impossible war, according to one senior West Point official.

"We're going to win this time!" U.S. Army Chief of Staff Gen. Raymond T. Odierno is expected to exclaim to a crowd of crestfallen cadets in the locker room of M&T Bank Stadium, unconsciously echoing both William Westmoreland in 1971 and Secretary of Defense Charles Hagel last Friday. "It's a mathematical certainty! After losing 12 times in a row, it's lucky number 13 for us this year!"