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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Sunday, 15 November 2026

Navy & Marines

Marine with extremely low IQ thrilled by switch to Super Intelligence

Marine Corps announces major technological advancement requiring millions of dollars in new signage and PowerPoint slides

Homeless veterans receive 10% off cardboard boxes this Veterans Day

Hegseth asks staff to make next execution more like ‘The Running Man’

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Vol. 15 · No. 136

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Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Deployed worldwide

Sunday

15 November 2026

1257 Zulu

Next edition Monday

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· Page 2

Soldier dies from massive erection after firing .50-Cal for the first time

Filed · 1540

FORT LEONARD WOOD, Mo. — A soldier attending basic training died from a massive rush of blood to his penis after firing the M2 .50-caliber machine gun for the first time, sources confirmed today.

Pvt. Alvero Rojas was six weeks into basic training when his unit went to the range for familiarization fire with several of the Army's crew served weapons.

"Rojas enlisted to become an Admin Specialist but we take all of our basic trainees to the range to fire these weapons to give them an idea of what it's like," said Sgt. 1st Class Alexander Pitts, Rojas's lead drill sergeant. "Just because a soldier is slated to end up behind a desk doesn't mean they won't find themselves shooting a .50 or MK19 at some point."

Rojas's death was regretted by his entire basic training company.

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