ARLINGTON, Va. — On the heels of the Army’s popular new “I became a soldier” advertising initiative, the National Guard has proudly announced its new slogan “Third to Fight” at Arlington Hall today.

“People love threes,” said National Guard Bureau Spokesman Johnny Anderson. “Third time’s the charm, three is company, the holy trinity. When we asked our focus group if they’d like to come in third in a very competitive race, like an Olympic Marathon, they all seemed to agree that third place is pretty good.”

“After all,” said Anderson, “It’s not who gets to the war first, it’s who stays for the next 14 years.”