SAN DIEGO – The father of newly-born Nicholas Braun, Jr. is volunteering to stand duty for anyone and everyone stationed aboard the USS Makin Island (LHD-8), sources told Duffel Blog today.

Quartermaster 2nd Class Nicholas Braun, Sr., who until nine months ago firmly intended to separate from military service, is the first to admit his peculiar offer to stand additional duty is by no means a gesture of bona fide altruism.

“Please, just, I just need some goddamned sleep,” the haggard father pleaded with sallow, sunken eyes. “One duty day away from home just doesn’t cut it!”