WASHINGTON, D.C. — American military officials are reportedly shocked at the speed at which France was able to approve of their nation's highest award which was presented to American Airman Spencer Stone, Spc. Alek Skarlatos, and some random civilians who participated in the righteous beating of a terrorist last week in Paris.
"This was easy when we originally thought it was Marines," said Sergeant Maj. of the Marine Corps Ronald Green. "I had their charge sheets all written up and was ready to read them their Article 31 rights over the phone, but man, what a letdown."
Other senior members of the armed forces are grappling with how to deal with this blatant breach in the American military tradition of foot dragging and outright dismissal of awards for junior enlisted personnel.
"There's no way Airman Spencer rates an actual Legion d'Honneur," said Chief Master Sgt. of the Air Force James Cody. "We'll probably just submit it as a Letter of Appreciation in his record book. It's not like it will get him any points for promotion anyway."
