Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
17,000+readers briefed

The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Sunday, 27 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

Three editions a week, paid for by our subscribers

Vol. 15 · No. 115

Worldwide edition

Reader supported

Delivered 3× weekly

America's most trusted military news source

Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Sunday

27 September 2026

0154 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

Syrian teen builds clock, beheaded for witchcraft

Filed · 1539

DAYR AL-ZAWR, Syria — Syrian teenager Sami Halaseh was beheaded for witchcraft yesterday after he built a clock and and brought it into his bomb-making school, according to The Syrian Observatory for Human Rights.

The 9th grader at former Ali Ibrahim Mohammad Secondary Madrasa was accused and convicted of creating a digital clock from a U.S. Meal Ready to Eat (MRE) box at his English-speaking jihadi academy, sources said.

Witnesses — who did not wish to be identified — claimed that that it was a simple but unfortunate misunderstanding after the "jihadi prodigy" brought a revolutionary new IED to school — an invention he called a "time-bomb." Sources report that Halaseh had been working on it since the U.S. Air Force over-shot a Sinjar Mountain resupply drop by over 250 miles last year.

"They immediately reacted as if it were a clock," one source said. "He just kept saying: 'It's not a clock. It's a bomb!' But they didn't believe him."

Also on this page

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!