DAYR AL-ZAWR, Syria — Syrian teenager Sami Halaseh was beheaded for witchcraft yesterday after he built a clock and and brought it into his bomb-making school, according to The Syrian Observatory for Human Rights.

The 9th grader at former Ali Ibrahim Mohammad Secondary Madrasa was accused and convicted of creating a digital clock from a U.S. Meal Ready to Eat (MRE) box at his English-speaking jihadi academy, sources said.

Witnesses — who did not wish to be identified — claimed that that it was a simple but unfortunate misunderstanding after the "jihadi prodigy" brought a revolutionary new IED to school — an invention he called a "time-bomb." Sources report that Halaseh had been working on it since the U.S. Air Force over-shot a Sinjar Mountain resupply drop by over 250 miles last year.

"They immediately reacted as if it were a clock," one source said. "He just kept saying: 'It's not a clock. It's a bomb!' But they didn't believe him."