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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 132 · Wednesday, 4 November 2026

Pentagon

Pentagon confident U.S. will be ready for 2027 war with China by 2035

Officials cite historically proven American strategy of entering wars completely unprepared

Hegseth wears Eisenhower's globe as Halloween costume

Spirit Halloween store to become pop-up ICE detention center

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Vol. 15 · No. 132

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 132 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

4 November 2026

0535 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
· Page 2

Weird guy on watch talking about how he can freeze time again

Filed · 1538

NORFOLK, Va. — Weirdo Seaman Jacob Parke is on watch talking about how he can freeze time again, sources report.

Parke is spending the entire 1200 – 1700 watch on the quarterdeck of USS Ramage (DDG-61) explaining how he can stop time, making the waves go backwards, and turn invisible when no one is looking.

“First he started explaining how he was one of the eight people born with the soul earthstone or some shit,” Fire Controlman 1st Class Nancy Atler said. “He went on about how he’s found three others, when they find the rest their powers will 'enhance.'"

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