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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Wednesday, 30 September 2026

Army

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit”

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

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Vol. 15 · No. 117

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Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

30 September 2026

2316 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
Air & Space · Page 6

Air Force begins lobbying for next trillion-dollar flying clusterfuck

Filed · 1538

WASHINGTON — The US Air Force has moved rapidly to parade drawings of its latest economy-swallowing clusterfuck before Congressional committees to secure production funding. The new images of the B-21 bomber were unveiled at a Capitol Hill press conference given by Air Force Secretary Deborah James before her testimony in front of the House Select Committee on Unkillable Programs.

"Just look at it," James said. "Doesn't it get you going too?" she asked in a tone a congressional described as "nearly breathless." An aide had to escort the secretary back to her seat.

At Northrop Grumman headquarters in Falls Church, Va., an anonymous project engineer was "flabbergasted" by the testimony. He requested anonymity on the grounds that he was not authorized to gloat on the record.

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