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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Friday, 25 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

25 September 2026

0144 Zulu

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· Page 2

Pentagon kills defense reporter after toddler falls into press enclosure

Filed · 1537

ARLINGTON, Va. — Members of the national press and the military are in shock today after a small child fell into the Pentagon's press enclosure and officials were forced to shoot and kill a 35-year old reporter to protect the child.

Witnesses said the boy, aged four and whose name is being withheld, was part of a routine tour group visiting the Pentagon when the group entered the Press Briefing Room. Apparently the child was overheard saying, "Mommy, I want to talk to the reporters," and bounded up onto the podium before anyone could stop him.

Shocking video taken by the Defense Media Activity and displayed on The Pentagon Channel showed the child immediately hit with questions about progress in Operation Inherent Resolve and upcoming naval operations in the South China Sea. Alert Pentagon media personnel quickly announced a catered press conference by Gen. Joe Dunford in an adjacent room, and all but one of the reporters were lured away from the boy.

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