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Soldier gets reamed out for not saluting officer who 'hates being saluted'

FORT POLK, La. — Pvt. Larry "Doug" Douglas was reamed out this morning for failing to render a salute to Maj. Tom Wallace, the executive officer for the 1-509th Parachute Infantry Regiment. Sources confirm that Wallace “will tell anyone who will listen” how much “he hates the whole saluting thing.”

“Look, it’s not a power thing. I hate all the attention,” Wallace explained. “Frankly it’s embarrassing, and I hate having to return all the salutes, but the standards need to be upheld.”

Wallace has what other officers call “a well-deserved reputation” at Fort Polk for his long-winded lectures and dressing-downs of those who fail to render him proper military courtesy.

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