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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Saturday, 26 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

26 September 2026

0521 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

Debt-free, never-divorced staff sergeant loses security clearance

Filed · 1537

FORT EUSTIS, Va. — The Army announced that it has revoked the security clearance of Staff Sgt. Brett Arnold of the 93rd Signal Brigade, after a routine review uncovered disturbing details about the 31-year-old NCO. Investigators are concerned that Arnold is "completely debt-free" and "has never been divorced."

"This is a very serious issue and initially we weren't releasing the individual’s identity for privacy reasons," says Maj. Robert Boyd a public affairs officer at Fort Eustis. "But everyone knows it's Arnold, because he’s always bragging about how he paid cash for his car."

Boyd says the Army will now conduct an extensive investigation of Arnold. Intelligence officials are concerned that "he is either a Russian operative, or possibly just a loser."

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