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ISIS announces 'pacific pivot' to Indonesia, Malaysia

JAKARTA, INDONESIA — The self-proclaimed Islamic State announced it was expanding with affiliates in Indonesia and Malaysia today, at a time when the terror group is under incredible financial strain amid the loss of key oil-producing facilities.

"Our glorious 'Pacific pivot' strategy should allow us to hop on the veritable gravy train of funding, just as the U.S. Army has been attempting to do for the last five years," said Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, in a statement released to his supporters on Telegram.

US Navy Adm. Harry Harris, commander of Hawaii-based Pacific Command, was astonished to see ISIS move into the Pacific.

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