NEW YORK — President-elect Donald Trump has vowed to “immediately deport” all “illegal aliens” from Area 51 at Groom Lake, Nevada, after learning of the top secret collection of extraterrestrials during a classified briefing, which he live-tweeted on Friday evening.

“What we are going to do is get the aliens that have done weird stuff, blowing up cows and rectally probing, the ones that leave those stupid crop circles," Trump told his more than 12 million followers. "We have a lot of these — they call them ‘grays’ I think — probably two dozen, it could be even three. We are getting them out of our country or we are going to do some autopsies for TV."

When reached by phone, Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. David L. Goldfein muttered, “Jesus Fucking Christ!” began to yell, “We’ve got to get the Arquillians out of Vegas! Now!” before the line went dead.