This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Flynn resigns after Mattis and Kelly repeatedly steal his lunch money
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump’s national security adviser Michael Flynn has resigned his post amid constant bullying from Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis and Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly, sources confirmed.
The two retired Marine generals pushed the former intelligence chief repeatedly in the halls of The White House, and at least one stole Flynn's lunch money on a daily basis.
In letter of resignation, Flynn mentioned that Mattis and Kelly would snap towels at him in the cabinet locker room while referring to his butt cheeks as “Boris and Natasha.”
More Stories
Pentagon facing dangerous shortage of fucks given
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Opinion: Listen up, assholes. Turn in your excess cruise missiles or everybody stays in formation
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Army Reserve adopts 'Nothing we do today is more important than lunch' as new recruiting slogan
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Hegseth mistakes getting older for declining military standards
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Duffel Blog’s Top 13 ideas for solving the Iran War
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Americans begin thanking troops for future service
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