Mattis forgets to send card to his mother of all bombs

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THE PENTAGON — Defense Secretary Jim Mattis is apparently in hot water after he realized this morning he forgot to send a card to his mother of all bombs, sources confirmed.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe I forgot her,” Mattis told reporters while doing weapons maintenance on his .50 caliber machine-gun.

Mattis was thinking about sending some flowers, chocolates, or at least a nice card for Mother’s Day, but somehow forgot amid other pressing issues on his schedule. Defense officials say Mattis has been caught up in travel, strategic planning sessions, and leading high-value target raids on ISIS lieutenants in recent weeks.

It’s a particularly bad time to forget about his mother of all bombs, sources say, since she had made Mattis quite proud just last month. Sources say that, besides being wonderful to the defense secretary, she also made quite an impact on the Islamic State in eastern Afghanistan.

“It’s totally fine,” the mother of all bombs said. “It’s fine. I forgot about Mother’s Day myself actually. I know he’s so busy. I’ll just read the last card he sent again. Oh look, it’s from 2008.”