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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Wednesday, 30 September 2026

Army

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit”

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

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Vol. 15 · No. 117

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Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

30 September 2026

2353 Zulu

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← Front page
Coast Guard · Page 7

Coast Guard intercepts millennial migrant vessel trying to flee to Cuba

Filed · 1535

MIAMI — A month after a report regarding the Coast Guard seeing a decrease in Cuban migration, a U.S. Coast Guard crew and surrounded a group of American millennial migrants off Sands Key, Florida Thursday afternoon.

A Coast Guard helicopter was over the water as the crew of the vessel was seen trying to get cell phone reception about two miles away from the island around 2 p.m. About seven men and two women were seen on the boat which was described as a makeshift outboard with a “Vote for Bernie” and “War is Terrorism” bumper sticker on the hull. The group was trying to reach Cuba when they were intercepted by a U.S. Coast Guard cutter and a U.S. Customs & Border Protection vessel.

“We immediately launched two Coast Guard small boats off our vessel, along with our law enforcement partners in the Miami area who responded to the scene,” said Lt. Commander Dave McKim with the U.S. Coast Guard. “They seemed to have been fleeing from what they call an insane dictator running a totalitarian regime."

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